I raise an eyebrow, almost amused by his brashness. “I fit the textbook definition of one, yes.”
“Then why would anyone think you’re fit to be a psychiatrist?” His dismissive tone is meant to piss me off, but I merely shrug it off, watching him flush in frustration.
“Perhaps it’s my hobby that makes me so good at what I do. What matters is that I’m at the top of my field, and I’m committed to helping. However, this only works as a partnership.”
“Then you may as well wait for hell to freeze over, because there’s no way I’ll let you get inside my brain.”
Humming under my breath, I rapidly go through several ideas, tossing them all aside. I don’t want to use emotional blackmail with him. Nor do I want to strong-arm him into it. This will take a far more delicate approach.
“Let me ask you a question.”
He folds his arms, raising an eyebrow as he shrugs. “Sure. Whatever.”
“Do you agree that what you went through was scary?”
Roman scoffs, shaking his head. “I’m strong.”
“That’s not the question. Was. It. Scary?”
He presses his lips together, turning his head away from me. There’s a slight hitch in his breathing, but he’s not going to give me anything…not today. But that doesn’t mean I can’t lay the groundwork.
“Think on it and I’ll check in later. I’d certainly say that both you and Lio faced horrors together… Just as Hollis faced the unimaginable, and others, too. Right now, both Lio and Hollis are facing those demons again. It’s a scary process, but you’ve survived the worst already. I’m here for when you want to takethat next step. I promise you—I won’t make you walk the journey alone.”
With that, I stand and head out. He’s going to need time to process, and sometimes, a well-aimed sentence is enough. And if it’s not…well, then I’ll go to plan B.
At least, we established honesty today. Even if he doesn’t want to admit it, he’s curious enough about me. He’ll make me work for it, but I will help him, and good luck to whoever stands in my way…
There’s a knock on my door and I stare at it in confusion, before looking at Tennant. No one ever knocks. Ten just walks in, and the medical staff gives me a courtesy knock before they too walk in, so I have no idea who it could be.
Calling out, “Enter”, I’m both shocked and relieved to see Lio standing in the doorway.
He hesitates, but Tennant says, “It’s okay, Little Monster, come in.” That seems to bolster him as he steps into the room.
“Lio…” My words aren’t more than a whisper, but seeing him in person makes my insides tumble over themselves as I try to figure out where to start.
“I’ll let you two have some space.”
I look at Tennant and grab his hand, holding on tightly. “You can stay, if you want.”Please, don’t leave me with him. Please, don’t risk me hurting him again.
Ten huffs and leans over me, pressing his lips firmly to mine. “I’ll be right outside, Topolino, but this is something you need to work out with the little monster. I promise, it’ll be okay.” I swallow and fight back the panic as best as I can. Tennant has never lied to me before, so I hold onto that.
“I love you… You’ll be right outside?”
“I will.” He kisses me again, deep and claiming, and it soothes the lack of words in a time I really could use them.
He brushes his fingers across the bruises on my face, lighting up the parts of me that like it when he’s rough and demanding, before finally pulling away and going to Lio.
He sweeps my friend into his arms, holding him tightly as he takes his mouth in a kiss. My breath catches watching them, and the jealousy I normally feel is there amongst the tangled emotions. I can see how beautiful they are together, there's no doubt about it. Lio is so small and compact, and Tennant almost engulfs him in his strong arms.
I shift a little, wincing when I lean too much onto my injured side, but the pain helps ease the growing uncomfortableness of seeing my love with someone else.
Tennant pulls back to whisper something in Lio’s ear that has him sighing and relaxing into his hold. With one last kiss, Tennant lets him go. “I’ll be just out in the hall if either of you needs me.”
When the door shuts behind Tennant, Lio and I simply stare at one another. An awkwardness that hasn’t been there for a long time settles between us. Lio moves to take a seat on the edge of Ten’s chair, and I watch him.
As desperate as I was to get to him, now that he’s in front of me, I don’t know what to do, or where to start. This isn’t like the fight after I gave my life to Tennant. This is so much more. Now, I have had an epiphany, and I need to tell him so much, but the terror that he’ll reject me because of it is very real.
Looking down at the stupid hospital blanket covering me, I finally say, “I’m sorry.”
