“You did not fail.” It’s all I can do not to shout, but anger, or fear, won’t help the issue. “I know it feels that way; trust me, do I know. That’s the same thought I had when I tried to kill myself, back when I was with that bastard. It haunted me for years. It was Roman who insisted I was stronger than I always believed.”Lio tenses at Roman’s name and I study his face, seeing the devastation in his eyes.
“You’re so fucking brave, Lio. So brave to face death, to go through everything you have the last few years, but still come out on top. You’re a survivor. Bruised, and maybe a little broken in places, but you are not a failure.Ever.
“If I hear you say that again, or get word you’ve even thought it, I will spank you so fucking hard you’ll still be bruised by the time youdodie. Understand?”
He shivers, and looks at me with such love and devotion, it takes my breath away. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good. Now…” I sigh and take a long drink of my cooling coffee, trying to get my thoughts in order. “I said I would think about things, make some decisions… I’ve had a lot of time to think, Emilio. Both while you were sleeping and when you were gone.” I set my mug aside, taking his too. He protests, but this is too important to have any distractions.
Grabbing him around the waist, I pull him into my lap, then cup his face in my hands. “I love you,” I tell him seriously. “I love you more than anything. You, Tennant, Roman, and Jude are my life. It was very bleak without you, Pup.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t. Unless you’ve done something to break the rules, that fucking word is banned from your vocabulary. I don’t need apologies for things that are out of your control. You didn’t ask for that bitch to kidnap you, and you didn’t ask to be tortured, to hurt others.” He flinches and whimpers. “Shhh. It’s okay. I got you, Amore.”
“I… Fuck, I don’t know how you can be okay with what I’ve done. I don’t deserve such an understanding Owner.”
I squeeze his face hard enough to leave bruises. “I get to decide what you deserve, not anyone else. No one but me has this ability. I’m your Owner, the one who gets to decide whatyou have, so if trust, loyalty, and forgiveness are mine to give, that’s what you’ll take. My love for you isn’t conditional, Emilio. Sei il cucciolo che appartiene ai miei piedi, e questa è una responsabilità che apprezzerò sempre.”
“I love you.” His words are soft, as if he’s afraid to say them any louder, but maybe they hit more this way. Soft and sweet, and everything I didn’t know I needed him to be at times.
I urge him closer and brush my lips against his. It’s soft, it’s vulnerable, and my eyes burn with tears.
When he pulls back, his cheeks are pink, and I rub my thumb across his bottom lip. “Doc has both a therapist and psychiatrist he wants you to work with. I know you already agreed to that, and I’m proud of you, Cucciolo. I’m so fucking happy to know you’ll be getting what you need.” I take a breath. “I’ll also be working with them. I…need to be a better Owner to you.”
He gasps. “You already are! The best. More than I ever could have hoped for.”
“I know, but in order to keep being that for you, I need to do it. Allesandro will also be in therapy. He’s on meds, and the psychiatrist will be doing an assessment to make sure his current regiment is still working for him. A lot of therapy needs to happen for all three of us.” I swallow around the sudden lump in my throat, fighting back the tears that prick my eyes.
Fuck,this is harder than I thought.Even though I know Emilio is mine, and will always be, I finally have some sympathy for what Allesandro must have felt when he came back and learned about Lio and I.
“Your Daddy and I…we will never forgive Allesandro for what he’s done. But we trust you, Emilio. We know you love us and would never leave us.”
He shakes his head. “No. Even though I know I don’t de—” He stops himself at my glare.
I grip his chin, digging my nails in. “I’m going to keep a list, Cucciolo. Every time you break my rules and try to say you don’t deserve something, especially if I’ve decided you do, you’ll be punished. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir.” There’s a tremble in his tone, but it’s not from fear. It makes me smile.
As hard as this conversation is, having those small bits of normalcy helps settle me, as they show not everything is shrouded in the pain of Emilio’s mind. “Daddy and I talked. He’s never going to trust Allesandro, but he loves you too much to see you suffer.”
Lio swallows, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I love him too. I wish he were here.”
I smile gently. “He does, too, Baby. He’ll come see you soon, maybe tomorrow or the day after. He’s with Benjamin right now—who I’m sure will wheedle his way in with Ten at some point.”
Thankfully, he doesn’t ask why Benjamin isn’t here beating down his door. I don’t know if Lio can take any more heartbreak at the moment. I’ll let the dumbass tell his best friend what he’s been up to. Besides, I’d like to talk to Benjamin before he sees Lio. Get him straight, once and for all.
I decide not to bring up Roman now, either. Lio’s earlier reaction to his name tells me he’s not ready, but soon, something needs to be done. Roman won’t last much longer in the limbo he’s in—none of us can.
“Daddy and I love you, Pup. You’re our gorgeous Baby Boy; the one who gives far more than he ever takes, and it makes us want to give you the world. Which is why…we’re doing this for you.”
He looks at me in confusion, but I don’t have the words to speak. I don’t need to, though. The knock I’ve been waiting for—dreading, if I’m being honest—finally comes.
Lio doesn’t look away from me as the door opens, not until I prompt him to.
He gasps, and I watch him carefully. Seeing the joy, the love, and when he glances at me, the hope in his beautiful green eyes.
“It’s okay, Baby. I promise… I told you I would think about it… You remember what we talked about?”
