“Of course.” I shrug because I suspected I’d be meeting with a therapist or psychiatrist when I wasn’t successful. I don’t have the same fear of that community that others in the Family have. Not after Sarah made things very clear to me. Master would have insisted on it anyway.
“Alright, let me think things through. For now, Cucciolo, you’re going to get some more sleep. I think we could both use it.”
I tilt my head up so he can brush a kiss against my lips. It’s soft and gentle, the opposite of our usual, but absolutely perfect. My emotions have run so high that I find myself easily ready for a nap, and as I curl up against my Owner, I’m happy to take one with him. Especially, because if we wake up together, there’s a good chance he’ll let me have a coffee with him… And really, that needs to be higher on the agenda.
“Sleep, my Love. Sleep for me.”
I snuggle in further and let myself be lulled to sleep in my Love’s arms, the feeling of safety and understanding enveloping me. The jagged edges of my soul still thrum with the pain of everything, but that kernel of hope is sprouting. Especially, if Hollis is telling me the truth. Maybe, just maybe, I can have everything I desire. And maybe, just maybe, I haven’t failed at everything…
When I wake, I feel more rested than I have in weeks. And that’s thanks to the Boy currently sleeping on my chest. Fucking hell.
While I was the one who demanded to be the first to see Lio once he was lucid, I almost didn’t get to be here. It’s…been a struggle to keep myself afloat since Roman and Lio have been in the medical suite. With Lio’s suicide attempt and Roman’s…vagueness about his mental health, keeping my own sanity in check hasn’t been a priority.
Doc said we could talk about adjusting my meds…but if I’m being honest with myself, that’d be a mistake. As much as I hate them, hate the vulnerability and the proof that I am not as strong as everyone believes, he was right to finally step in.
As much as it hurts…I would have allowed Allesandro—or Sandro, as he keeps telling people—to step up and be the rockLio needed, as he finally processed what he’d almost done, and everything that led up to it. At least the first step of the processing, that is. There’s still so much left for him to cover, but not without support, never.
Doc’s meeting with the therapist was this morning, and between him and the psychiatrist, who may or may not show up soon, hopefully they can help untangle the pain of what my poor Puppy went through. Both with Cecily Dowing and anything else he needs to deal with.
Sitting more upright in the narrow bed, I maneuver Lio so he’s still on me, not wanting to wake him yet. He needs sleep; good, restful sleep, not the drug-induced slumber he’s been in for days now.
He whimpers a little, and his grip on me tightens, but I run my fingers through his greasy, untamed hair, settling him once more.
Looking across the room, I catch Donovan’s attention. Carefully, I sign, “Can you ask for some coffee to be brought in? Lots of it, for us both.”
The trip looks at Lio and his mouth turns down a little before he replies, “Doc will want him to eat food before having caffeine. With the number of sedatives that are running through his system…and the medication Kail gave him to prevent nausea when he first woke, he needs to get something in his stomach.”
“Trust me, the coffee will help more than food.”
“Which one of us is the medical professional?”
I roll my eyes. “Please.”
He sighs. “If I get in trouble for this, I’m blaming you…”
“Fine.” Doc would blame me for anything either way, so I don’t really care. Even though he supported my need to be with Lio, that doesn’t mean he agreed with it—but as a submissive, he understands the connection between an Owner and Boy. Sothere was no way he could deny me, not when there wasn’t a medical need to.
I watch Lio as he sleeps, though his face is pressed into my side, and he’s shifted to throw himself over me as best he can with me sitting up, so I can’t see him properly. Still, the glimpse I got of it while he was awake was enough…for now.
The pain and despair in those emerald eyes of his cut me to the very core of who I am as a lover, a man…a Dom. Though, until Lio, I never thought of myself that way.
But when he challenged me that day in the sitting room…when he let me take a knife to him and cut him up like he was nothing but a toy for my pleasure…something settled in me as I tasted his blood, as I fucked him like I owned him, though he was nothing but Roman’s friend and an ally at the time.
Months ago, Emilio belonged to someone else, but now, he is mine. A vital part of me. I need him as much as I need to breathe. More than. Hell, I might need him the same as I need coffee, and that’s fucking saying something—Ten can’t be an ass and switchhimout for decaf at least.
Tennant is…my steady rock, my everything, the one I trusted with my heart and soul—with my body—and that will never change. Roman and Jude are mine. The love and very blood in my veins. But Emilio…he may give himself to meashis Owner, but he’s the one who ownsme. Heart and soul, everything I am and have to give.
It’s what makes the next step both the easiest and hardest thing I’ve ever done. Hell, it was easier to let Roman in, even though he touched Ten without permission. Easier to give Benjamin carte blanche to the monster that lives inside Tennant.
But…I asked Tennant if he trusts Emilio, and I need to ask myself the same question.
I trust Lio’s heart. He isn’t quick to trust, but when he does, you have his loyalty for life, unless you epically fuck up like Luca Martelli did.
I’m not surprised Lio forgives Allesandro for what he did. Lio might still be deeply hurt, his trust still broken, but his love…that never wavered, even when he wanted it to.
A deep pool of dread fills me as I think about what he must have gone through without Allesandro at his side.Fuck.
There’s a soft knock before the door opens to a kitchen staff member pushing a cart. Donovan jumps up to relieve her of it, and she gives him a soft smile before retreating.
