“I love you, bro.”
“Love you too, sis.” He pats my back. “Thanks for all the help.”
And now, finally, we both turn to Lucas, who looks like he’s a bull trying very hard not to break everything in the China shop. He must have had to turn part of himself off to manage being present for this at all.
“So how are you two going to break up?” Lucas asks Jake. “When do we get to date openly? I can’t wait two more months to make this look like there was no cheating, man. I’m dying.”
The desperation in his voice makes me slip my hand into his. I don’t think about it. I don’t calculate whether it’s smart or what it costs.
I just reach.
He holds on so tightly, I get a sense for everything he’s been holding back.
And it occurs to me, somewhere underneath the carnage of these last ten minutes, that I’ve spent my whole life making myself available to anyone who needed me.
But I never once asked someone to hold on to me like this.
I’m not sure I would have let them if they tried.
Jake looks at us, no judgment in his eyes. “We can say the longer we dated, the more we realized we work better as what we’ve always been—friends.”
“That means this week, we can’t have any more lovey-dovey stuff,” I say.
“Finally,” Jake mumbles. Then he shudders, and I punch his shoulder, hard.
“Dude! As if I’m the one who’s gross to kiss?” I fake vomiting in my mouth.
Jake snorts and looks at Lucas. “Come on, man. You gotta agree with me. She’s a terrible kisser.”
Lucas looks like he wants to break Jake into tiny pieces. “I wouldn’t know.”
Jake’s eyes go big, and then he laughs even bigger. “Oh, you poor sucker. You have no idea what you’re in for.”
“I need you to shut up,” Lucas says, squeezing his eyes closed.
Jake taps Lucas’s chest. “You’re all right, TikTok kid.” He grins and looks at me. “Here’s to the final week.”
“May it end quickly.”
He turns, holds a hand up in farewell, and leaves the room.
And Lucas and I stare at each other.
“Is this real?” he asks. “Is it my turn to fever dream now?”
I hold up my hands, and he threads his fingers through them. I’ve wanted him to kiss me for so long, and with his commitment to not crossing a line, it’s going to have to start with me.
“Lucas, I need you to kiss?—”
He doesn’t let me finish.
His mouth finds mine, and for one suspended second, neither of us moves. Like we’re both making sure this is real. Like after all the waiting, we need a single heartbeat just to feel it, just to breathe?—
Then something gives way in both of us at once.
And we’re all in.
I didn’t know it could feel like this. Like being wanted back.
