"It was him?"
"Yep."
I didn't end up in his bed by chance. I ended up there because… because … because it's where I was supposed to be.
It's where I was always supposed to be.
He knew it, even if I didn't. He was brave enough to reach for it, even when I wasn't. And he was brave enough to tell me how he feels about me, when all I could do was panic.
He loves me enough to risk his own heart. Enough to give me every piece of it, even knowing that I could walk away to protect my own.He loves me.
"Oh, no," I whisper, the enormity of the situation crashing down on me. "I think…I messed up."
"What? How?"
In so many ways that I don't even think I can count them right now. I definitely can't explain, but…it's not her that needs an explanation. It's Jasper. He's the one who asked for all my secrets. It's him who deserves to hear them.
"I need to go!" I cry, plunking my mug down on the island. "I need to go right now."
"What? Why?"
"I'll explain later! Watch the store until Lilah gets here!" I cry, already rushing out. I have to see him right now. I have to tell him…everything.
I have to tell him everything.
Chapter Twelve
Sarah
I'm not sure if I'm nervous or anxious, scared or what when I knock on his door an hour later with a photo album tucked under my arm.
I just know that Mrs. Braithewaite was right the other day at Dirty Book Club when she told me to go earn my wrinkles, memories, and scars. I've spent a long time—a really long time—afraid to do that.
But the truth is… life happens regardless of whether you hide in the shadows, too afraid to take chances. It happens whether you stay frozen in fear, chained to the past. It happens whether you stick your head in the sand, refusing to acknowledge what's important. It happens, whether you find the courage to face it or not. It happens, no matter what.
And dying does too.
I can spend my whole life trying to hide from that pain, and maybe I'll make it through without feeling it again. But if I do, at the end of it, when it's my time to go, the only thing I'll have left to look back on is that pain. The sum total of my scars, years, and memories will be the sad few pages and the losses immortalized in that album.
I'd rather make new memories and earn every wrinkle and every year.
"Baby girl?" Jasper's gray eyes run across me, full of worry, when he pulls the door open. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. Um, I have to ask you something."
"Shoot."
I lick my lips, my heart pounding. "Why didn't you tell me that you were my date that night at the restaurant?"
"Fuck," he mutters. "Olive told you?"
I jerk my chin in a nod.
"I was going to tell you," he says, holding my gaze. "But then you said that you were never dating again and that you didn't even want to come in the first place, so I stopped myself. I figured it was my one chance to finally show you how I felt, and I wanted to take it. I wanted you to know…" He sighs. "Ineededyou to know that there's no one else for me. If it's not you, it's no one."
"Can I come in?"
"Depends." He leans up against the door frame, blocking it with his big body.
