Ollie messages me back only minutes after I tell him my news by text that I’m buying a flat. It’s 11 p.m., so I wasn’t expecting a reply. I’ve missed him so much. It’s felt so natural to see Liv more and more. And it’s as ifwe’vebecome a duo now. And Ben and Ollie still live together, but I don’t know how Ollie has stuck it out. He’s a hero to Ben. I bet Ben doesn’t appreciate it.
Ollie has barely shared news of any significance with me, but at least we’ve remained in contact. We met up once, for a drink a few months ago, and I realised all over again how much I adore him, how much he means to me. Not having him in my life, the way he used to be, is difficult. Beyond difficult. And at the back of my mind the entire time we were in the pub I heard Ben’s words, his struggle with the fact that he thought Ollie and I might get together. Putting Ollie out of my life stopped any chance of that. We only spoke about it once when everything went wrong. After that, well … it’s just been one of those subjects we don’t mention. But it’s been two years since I left Ben. I wonder if Ben still thinks it,worries about it? I wonder if Ollie wonders about it at all? I wonder if Ollie wonders about it as much asIdo.
When are you moving?he texts as I’m snuggling down in my single bed in my childhood bedroom for one of the last times ever.
I’ve no idea. Moving seems to take so long. It’s been a few weeks since we had the offer accepted, and people are in a chain or something. I’ve never bought a property before. There’s so much detail. So much paperwork.
He sends a laughing emoji.So I’ve heard.
Do you want to come over for a coffee when I’ve moved in?I ask tentatively.It’s been ages since I saw you. I really miss you.
Ollie doesn’t reply immediately and I hope some loyalty to Ben isn’t going to stop us meeting again.
I’d love that. Let me know when. Although it’s not been ages since I saw you. I saw you last night actually, on an advert on the Underground.
Did you? I still get excited seeing those. It’s not worn off yet. Where did you see it?
Leicester Square.
What were you doing?I ask.
Looking at you as I went up the escalator. You were selling a hair-care range to the masses.
Unsurprisingly, my hair looks really good in that ad,I type.I mean, why were you in Leicester Square?
I was going on a date,he replies.
I sit up in my bed. Of course Ollie would date. Of course he would. I just wasn’t expecting it. He’s caught me off-guard.Was it good?
It was fine.
Any more detail to this?I prompt.
What more do you want to know?
Ugh,I type.Boys!I hit send and Ollie replies with another laughter emoji and then he sends more.
She’s on my course.
Risky,I interject.
Agreed. But she’s nice and we’ve been chatting a bit, and we’ve had a few coffee dates already, so this felt like a nice next step.
Oh, not a first date then!
No. Third, fourth? Something like that.
Third date? That’s good. You like her then?
I do. What about you? Dating anyone yet?
No. No time. Sadly. Still single.I don’t want to mention Ben. It feels like an inevitable conversation pathway, but I don’t take the bait.
Ollie doesn’t reply and I tap my fingers on the back of the phone while I wait, but I’m not sure he’s going to send anything more and I’m tired, ready for sleep, but reluctant to end it here, although I have to if I’m going to get up for the shoot I’m heading to tomorrow.
I send him the address of my new flat and tell him I’ll message again when I’ve moved in, so we can meet up.
Looking forward to it, he says.
