“Stupid.” It hurts, the shock that rushes from my hand to my shoulder. Don’t care. Again. Again. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
I still don’t have my proof of what happened between him and Duncan, but being passive and weak won’t help me either. That was what got me into this position in the first place.
I have to think.
After drying my cheeks and catching my breath, I do just that. Ask myself the only question that’s been left unanswered.
What did he say to Duncan to chase him away?
“I don’t know,” I sigh.
Exhaustion weighs me down. My ribs ache.
My eyelids finally grow heavy.
The room is closing in on me. With all its secrets, with the pain this desk holds.
I can’t stay here another second.
I can’t go to Duncan’s room either, though I want to. There’s a chance that, in my current state, my questions will come out as accusations.
I wouldn’t do it to him. To us.
God knows half-truths and miscommunication have victimized us for far too long.
But…I do need him. A piece of him, anyway, to carry me through the night.
The gallery.
The place where he touched, kissed, and tortured me. That’s where I have the strongest memories of him.
That’s where I’m headed.
Guided by instinct, I find the stairs and climb them. The door at the top isn’t locked, the handle bending easily to my will.
There’s no light switch on the wall by the door. And though the room is bathed in darkness, it doesn’t bother me.
I’ve only been here twice, and I already know it by heart. Every step I’ve taken here, every look from Duncan, is burned into me.
So even when I close the door behind me, I’m not worried. I tread carefully with only the moonlight and starlight guiding my path.
As soon as I’m close enough to make outmypedestal’s shape, I lower myself on top of it. Knees first, then hands. I curl up into a tiny ball, flattening one palm on the warm surface.
I imagine Duncan is here, hugging me. That the bad days are behind us.
Maybe I don’t need to know everything to start over. Maybe I don’t want to.
He missed me.
He came for me.
He hasn’t been with anyone else since he broke up with his first and only girlfriend.
It’s more than enough. It’s perfect.
And if he ever wants to talk, I’ll be there at his side.
As his partner. His woman.
