“How can you be so sure it’s him?”
I’ve spent years hoping and looking. I’ve spent years holding the actions of my thirteen-year-old self on my shoulders, even though I knew it wasn’t just my fault.
“If it’s not him, then I keep looking.” It was as simple as that. It always had been. “But what would you do if it were him? Would you finally accept that fact that I’m not crazy? I lost my entire world when he disappeared, Ma. You know that. I can’t give up hope when it’s dangled right in front of my face. That boy in there is so much like the one I lost, but also so different in ways that life makes us be.”
“I never thought you were crazy, Evander. Just a little lost. And I hoped that either you’d accept the truth that your childhood best friend was taken too soon and rested peacefully in his death, or you’d find him. I really hope you did find him, but hope is one of the most fragile things we have. I don’t want my baby boy to get hurt when that hope crashes like dust. I don’t want to see my little boy hurt again like that. I worry that one of these times when the hope dies out, you don’t go with it.”
“Ma,” I said, forcing my tears to not fall. “I won’t hurt myself just because life doesn’t work the way I want it to. I never have.”
“Not exactly. You skip meals. You push yourself to work more. You spend hours searching on the internet for new signs of that boy you lost. You can’t tell me you don’t hurt yourself when you don’t take care of your wellbeing.”
“I…I’ll try harder to keep myself together if Kasey isn’t that boy.” It was the most I could have promised.
I turned to face the back door, seeing the Omega wipe off the already clean countertop. He hadn’t bothered to fix his shirt, letting it hang off his shoulder, showing off that light dusting birthmark. And other marks that I didn’t want to think about.
“I know your heart. I know how fiercely you love, and I know how long you’ve carried the weight of everything. But listen to me,” her voice was low but strong. “If you’re wrong, if that boy inside isn’t who you think he is, you could break him without meaning to.”
“I’m not wrong. But I won’t break him.” That boy in there, no matter what the blood test came back with, was mine. I couldn’t return it to him. He had a place here in my life and maybe he’d save me from myself.
“You care for him deeply. I can see that. And that’s the reason you didn’t join me and dad this year, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. He…Kase needs structure and care.”
“Omegas from Lockswell aren’t…they are sensitive. They can thrive like no other, but if you promise something, it better not be broken.”
“I never break my promises.”
She reached out, touching my arm gently. “So, here’s my warning, son. One last time.”
I braced myself.
“Don’t give him hope you can’t keep. Don’t promise him a place in your world unless you’re ready to hold him there. And don’t- “her voice wavered just slightly. “Don’t let your need to find the boy you lost link you to the boy standing right in front of you.”
The words hit deeper than I expected.
She squeezed my arm once, firm and warm. “If you’re going to protect him, then protecthim.Not a memory. Not a ghost. Not a wish.”
I exhaled slowly, the weight of her warning settle into something sharp and real.
“I hear you. But I’m not letting him go.”
“I know,” she murmured. “That’s what scares me.”
I waited until Mom’s footsteps faded down the porch steps before I finally turned back towards the house. The kitchen light spilled across the floor in a warm rectangle and for a moment, I just stood their hand on the doorknob, letting the quiet settle.
I wasn’t sure if Mom realized I’d already made my choice long before she said anything.
I was going to keep this boy. HewasKasey. And if I was the only one who believed it, then so be it.
I pushed the door open.
The house felt different the second I stepped inside. It was too still, too quiet. Kasey wasn’t where I left him. The kitchen was clean, lights were on, and the casserole still sat on the counter.
“Kasey?” I called softly, not wanting to startle him.
No answer.
I moved through the living room, scanning every area possible. Then I saw him, curled up on the floor beside the couch, knees pulled to his chest, arms wrapped tight around himself like he was trying to hold all the pieces together.
