My mind tried to reach for rules, for commands, for something familiar to cling to. But there was nothing. No script. No protocol. No training for this.
My throat felt tight, but I didn’t make a sound. I didn’t dare move.
If I panicked outwardly, that would be wrong. It’d get a punishment.
If I questioned him, that would make me disobedient.
If I said the wrong thing, I’d get a cock shoved in my mouth in place of a gag.
So, I stayed quiet, even as my thoughts spiraled.
Why would he take me? What did he want from me? What was I supposed to do once we left?
A tremor ran through my fingers before I could stop it. I curled them into my palms, hiding the shake.
I didn’t understand what he was asking me. I didn’t understandwhyhe wanted me to.
And the worst part, the part that made my stomach twist, was the fact that I wanted to leave this awful place.
I wanted to go. I wanted to go somewhere where there was no pain or rules or schedule.
But I knew that wasn’t something I’d ever get. I was here for the rest of my days.
Even if this Alpha, or any other, wanted to take me away, then they could. And then, I’d be theirs forever to be used however they saw fit.
“Let’s find you some clothes, or a blanket.” The Alpha stood, his hand disappearing from my knee. It left a cold chill on my skin, reminding me that I’m naked. Just like I had been with the very first Alpha to take what he wanted from my body without care in the world.
The moment the memory of that first Alpha surfaced, a shudder tore through me before I could stop it. He’d been…. anything but kind.
I remembered his voice. Sharp, cold and cut. I remembered the way every word felt like a blow. And the pain…there had been so much of it that I’m pretty sure I blacked out more than once.
No training to be the perfect Omega would be enough. Not when something sohugehad been pushed into me without care.Not when I had a feeling that blood had trickled down my leg when he had finished with me.
I knew, despite how much I didn’t want any of it, I knew what was going to happen. Yesterday’s clean out session was only the tip of the iceberg, a brief showing of what was to come. But even then, I wasn’t able to handle the plastic tube and water filling me. I wasn’t able to handle my insides being cleaned out. I wasn’t able to see through the hazy marks across my back as tears felt unbidden.
Even thinking about him now made my stomach twist, my breath catch, my body wanting to fold in on itself the way it had been trained to do.
And it did.
I slid off the toilet, knees touching the cold tiled floor.
Omegasweren’t to sit there naked.Iwasn’t to sit there with my own wants.
Omegas were to serve their Alpha, no matter how temporary they may be.
Omegas were to keep quiet, not making a single sound.
The rules flashed in my mind as though I was reading them from the booklet. The same booklet that each Omega was to memorize and keep in an assessable place at all times. The booklet I hated with every fiber of my being.
Each phrase, each rule, flickered through my mind like flashcards. I didn’t even know which one fits the situation. I didn’t know what he wanted from me. I didn’t know what I was supposed to want.
My throat tightened.
None of the scripts felt right. None of them matched the way he was treating me. None of them matched the wordhome.
But I didn’t have anything else.
So, I knelt there on the pure white tile, heart pounding, trying to choose the least wrong response, terrified I’d pick the wrong thing.
