“At all?” He realizes his mistake a moment too late and tries to backtrack.
“No, I mean I ate breakfast. I just didn’t have time for lunch today…” he worries his bottom lip in between his teeth, digging into the soft flesh until it starts to turn darker with the force.
“I’ll make us dinner.” I offer up so he doesn’t have to explain. I don’t know what he’s going through right now, but maybe he’ll explain it to me when he feels comfortable enough. This is Raiden we’re talking about, and no matter what happens I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for him and want the best for him.
“I can help! Mom taught me a new recipe for curry. We were messing around in the kitchen, and she found one of my Sobo’s old recipe books tucked away from when we moved here.” Raiden doesn’t talk much about his mom’s side of the family. When his mom moved here from Japan, she came alone. Bothof her parents had passed away and she was an only child. When she started college classes at a local university,she met Rodney. And not too long after that they had Raiden.
“Yeah, that sounds good.” He stands up, tucking his hair behind his ear and straightening the wrinkles out of his clothes from sitting so long. I pause the movie, making sure we don’t miss a moment of it, and he follows me into the kitchen.
While we cook, he tells me the same stories his mom told him as he was growing up. Stories of what life was like in Japan, how different the school systems are, all the different scenic views. He weaves the words in that way of his, describing every little detail. I close my eyes for a minute while the pans heat up, imagining us standing together at the highest peak in Osaka, watching the sunset as the city around us starts to light up in an abundance of lights. The city waking up like it was waiting for us to appear.
We add the finishing touches to the top of the curry, and he sits beside me at the dining room table, both of us sharing secret smiles while we eat.
After he scoops the last little bit into his mouth, he finally tells me why he showed up on my doorstep.
“I broke up with Josh.”
I choke on my food, the morsel going down the wrong pipe and making it hard to clear my airway.
“Well, I didn’t think you were actually dying to hear that news.” Raiden says drily and I gulp down water from my glass, the cool liquid soothing the burn.
“I’m not, I wasn't. I just wasn’t expecting..”That,I want to say, but the knowing look he gives me says I don’t have to say that last part out loud.
“It was past time. I haven’t been happy, and I think neither has he. Long distance was hard, and he wanted every moment of my time. Which is fine for some people, but it's draining. I quit the dance team because he wanted to spend more timetalking to me on the phone. He was intimidated by our friendship so I had to let him know every time I was planning on seeing you. There was an invisible noose around my neck, pulling me tighter and tighter until it got to be too much. Finally, I got fed up with it all and devoted my time only to him so I wouldn’t have to deal with his spiteful words and quick temper. It..” he trails off, brushing a finger underneath his eyes and wiping away the tears starting to form. “It was awful, and all I wanted was to tell you but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to tell you that this guy that I thought was so great turned out to be so controlling. I didn’t know how I let myself fall so far, and I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”
I stand, pulling him out of his chair and into my arms, securing them tightly around him. Tight enough to hold him together and protect him from all the bad things he’s been facing on his own.
“I’m so sorry. So so sorry. I never knew.” I mumble into his hair, smelling his fresh floral scent as a wave of despair crashes over us, threatening to drag us under.
“Because I didn’t want you to. I was ashamed and embarrassed.”
“Never be ashamed or embarrassed to talk to me. You’re my best friend, and even if you do the dumbest thing in the world, I’ll still be here supporting you until the end of time.”For as long as you will have me.
“Thanks, Jer.” I can feel his smile against my chest and I rub my cheek against his hair, soaking in the moment of having my friend back.
“Always.”
6
JERICHO
SENIOR YEAR PART ONE
“I’m not going.” I tell Raiden, standing in front of the mirror. The overhead lights are harsh, washing out my skin and making me look like a vampire walking in daylight. The suit sags off me, the extra material bunching up in the crooks of my arms and around my shoulders. I catch Raiden rolling his eyes in the reflection of the mirror. He already has his outfit picked out, but I’m not allowed to see it until the day of.
“You are going, you already said you would be my date. And I amnotshowing up to my senior prom dateless.”
I tug on the end of the sleeves, trying to tug the fabric down to make it fit better, but nothing is helping. It’s been this way with the last three suits I’ve tried on. I’m too big for the normal sizes, and too small for the bigger sizes. I can’t win for losing, and prom is in two weeks. Between my mom and Raiden breathing down my neck to find a suit, I’m going to go crazy.
“I look ridiculous. Seriously, why would you even want to go with me when I’ll be a Debbie Downer anyway.” I take in my reflection in the full length body mirror. My blonde hair isn’t as short as it used to be–I’ve missed a haircut or two after Raidensaid that it looks good long. I think he just likes practicing his braiding skills on me. After he rejoined the dance team for his senior year, they made it to competition season and he needed a doll to practice on to prepare for the competitions. Who better than his best friend? And I get the benefit of someone running their fingers through my hair, the feeling of his soft fingertips massaging my scalp is the best thing I’ve ever experienced. My nose is slightly crooked from a too-hard hit I took last year during a practice scrimmage, sitting oblong against the top of my cupid’s bow. I am going to look like the hunchback of Notre Dame compared to Raiden. He could at least take a little pity on me and be more helpful while shopping, but he’s getting too much enjoyment from watching me squirm in discomfort.
“I’m not built to be in a suit like this.”
“You can’t wear a football uniform, sorry. Suck it up, buttercup. You’ll find something.”
The attendant knocks on the door before I can offer a rebuttal. “How’s it going in here?”
“Horrible,” I murmur under my breath and Raiden coughs to cover up his laugh.
