“You? What?”
“Lied, I lied. Josh didn’t come home. I didn’t want to spend time with him instead of going on our family trip. I wasscared.I ran away from you because I was scared, Jer. I didn’t want to see the look of disappointment or regret or whatever it was that you were going to feel after the kiss. I couldn’t bear to see it. So I lied, and you all went on the trip while I laid in bed the whole week and cried. When you got back, you refused to see me and before I knew it you were gone.”
“I don’t understand. What are you saying right now?” That I left for no reason? I joined the military and left this town to get away from him, but if I would have stayed we could have worked it out. We could have had the chance to be together? No. No. I refuse to believe that. I can’t believe that.
Did I like serving in the military? Not really, but I learned a lot and I gained a lot from it. Friends that I consider brothers, a stable job, life lessons.
A missing leg,my inner conscious whispers and I shove it away. I don’t need the negative reminders right now.
“I didn’t meet up with Josh. It was a lie I told my parents so I didn’t have to go. But then when you got back, my mom told me about your decision for the military. I wanted to talk you out of it, to convince you to stay. It was too late though.”
“But you and Josh–” I start, not sure where all of that fits in with this. Because he stillmarriedJosh, even after everything he’s told me, that’s a fact that can’t be disputed. Raiden shrugs his shoulders and rubs his fists underneath his eyes, catching the remaining tears that refuse to stop falling.
“We still got married–there was history between us. I reverted back to my feelings from high school. If I couldn’t have you I would have to settle for someone else.”
I want to scream and rage. I want to go back in time and remake every decision that has led us to this point.
“That’s why I asked you if you loved him,” Raiden says so quietly that I almost miss it.
I crack open another beer for me, and for him. Taking a minute to absorb all of this information.
“And when you said no, I thought I might have a chance.” He moves closer to me, his full body pressing against mine. The warmth of him cocoons me in a sense of false hope. He crawls into my lap, and I’m too weak to push him off. I let him situate himself, feeling the curve of his ass digging into my lap.
This is wrong. This is all wrong.
But I’m a weak man when it comes to Raiden. A selfish one that is guaranteed to make every bad decision as long as I get to have him close to me.
It's reckless and dangerous, putting everything I’ve worked for on the line.
Yet, even as he leans in until we’re sharing the same sweet breath I don’t pull away.
22
JERICHO
His lips press to mine, and I know why people are willing to go to hell for a taste of the sweetest nectar. He tastes like the cherry lip gloss he loves to wear, wheat from the beer, and my own personal damnation. A concoction that sets my blood ablaze and has me acting recklessly.
The only thing that exists in this moment is me and Raiden.
I open my mouth, waiting for him to part his lips so I can devour him from the inside out. I wrap my hands around his back, palming the two globes of his ass and rocking him against me. He gasps, opening his mouth and letting me into my personal form of heaven. I tug his piercing between my tongue and lip, tugging on the ball to cause him a hint of pain.
It's even better than I could imagine as our tongues war, sucking and biting and fighting like we hate each other.
And maybe in some fucked up way we do.
Two things can be simultaneously true and be at odds with each other at the same time. The desire I feel for Raiden is potent, poisoning me and making me succumb to him. And wanting to never see him again for all he’s put me through.They can both be true at the same time, because sometimes the human brain doesn't make sense.
He grinds on my lap, pushing his ass harder against my dick until we’re fucking with two layers of clothes in between us. My hips thrust up to meet his and he moans loudly against my mouth, I drink all the sounds from him.
“Fuck, Jer,” he moans loudly against my mouth. His moans are so different from Liams. Hot and sweet, high pitched and whiny, borderline annoying if they were coming from another person. But they’re not, they’re coming from the one person I’ve been begging for since I first saw him at thirteen years old and didn’t know what the too big feelings inside my chest meant.
“You like that, Rai? Like how hard my dick gets for you?” I pump my hips up harder to force my point home. The need to pin him down to my couch and fuck him until he can’t walk straight is warring against the other need to go slow and take care of him, to show him how I would love him if he would give me the chance.
I wrap my arms under his armpits and secure my palms around his shoulder, holding him on top of me. At my mercy. He can only have what I’m willing to give him.
“Yes, I love it. I love how big and hard you are. You’re going to tear me apart.” And I will, if he gives me a chance. “I need to feel you inside me.” His words bring me to a halt, reality setting in and forcing me to see what I’m doing.
Betraying Liam. Openly and knowingly doing it, on the same couch me and Liam have cuddled up on with Jojo on my lap while we watch TV. The same apartment Liam helped me move into when I moved out of my parents.
