“Thanks,” I say through gritted teeth.
I try to stand again, and this time I make it fully up straight with my weight evenly distributed to both feet. I wobble as I take my first step, but gain more confidence as I carve a path into the linoleum floors of the hospital. Dr. Wright has taken a seat across the room from me, silently watching me get used to the unnatural addition to my body.
“How does it feel now?” He stands from his chair at the same time I plop down into the brown, leather one in the corner. Sweat beads my temple and I can feel a few droplets skating down my back.
The smile on my face is the first true one I’ve felt in months.
“Great.”
He escorts me back to my hospital room, the room that has felt more like a jail cell since I was shipped here straight from camp. Now, as the sun peeks through the blinds, showing off the mid-morning sun, a sense of gratitude washes over me. The feeling of helplessness that I’ve suffered through is depleting with every unsteady step I take towards starting over.
I’m left alone as he leaves me to go tend to his other patients. I open the window fully, letting the sun beam through. I turn on the tv and organize my room, sorting through the clothes I’ve been brought and the snacks that have been left until the room no longer resembles an empty nest, but instead the resting place of someone destined for greater things.
11
JERICHO
The sweet smell of brownies greets me as I walk in the front door. My mom is standing in the kitchen, her dark hair tied on the top of her head in a messy bun as she whisks something in the bowl in front of her. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was another dessert recipe she’s trying out. Since I’ve been home, I’ve been having to work extra hard to keep off the weight she’s trying to force me to gain.
“Jericho?” Her voice carries over the TV in the living room streaming the football game. Dad and Rodney are sitting side by side on the couch, their muted conversation filled with lots of hand gestures as I watch them silently.
“It’s me, mom,” I finally say, looking away from the sight in front of me and following my nose to the aroma emanating from the kitchen.
“Just in time, would you mind getting the brownies out of the oven? I don’t want them to burn and I’m in the middle of this recipe.” She nods her head towards the over mitt she has laying out and I grab it. Opening the oven my face is blasted with warmth as I drag the metal pan filled with gooey chocolate out.
“What are you making now?” I ask, sitting the pan on the cooling rack, and turning around to lean against the counter. My leg aches, and I’m counting down the minutes until I can take my prosthetic off and rub the special salve that Dr. Case prescribed for me. It’s been a life saver since I got my more permanent prosthetic. It's not an end all be all, but I love being able to take it off at the end of the day.
“Cheesecake, and it’s going to have an oreo crumb crust.” My mouth waters and she looks at me with a knowing smirk on her face. “Not just for us, though. Ema is coming over later with food and we’re going to have dinner over here.” I freeze, my body tensing to an unnatural state.
My mom keeps talking, not noticing my dilemma. I haven’t seen Raiden since I’ve gotten back, and I made a silent pact not to. He was my best friend, at one point, and something I’ve been working on accepting is that nothing can always stay as we want it. People grow apart and separate, and that’s okay. Change is a good thing, because it inspires growth. At least, that’s one of Dr. Mob's sayings when she video calls me for our bi-weekly sessions. There’s been a lot of growth in the year since I’ve been out of the military, a year of struggling and falling, but never staying down. Raiden is the one memory that I don’t touch.
“Jericho?” My mom says and I jerk my head up to look into her eyes, remorse lining the corners has me bristling against the pity she’s feeling for me.
“I just remembered that I have to run to the gym, I have a meeting with Liam about our training schedule.” Liam is my personal trainer who has been helping me build and train my muscles around my prosthetic.
“Jericho…” My mom trails off and reaches her hands out to rub my shoulders. I relax into the massage as she soothes the tense muscles. “Raiden would be surprised to see you.” And that’s the problem, because surprises aren’t always welcome, and it's clear from his years of silence that I would not be welcome.
“Really mom, it’s fine. Give my love to Ema when she comes over and tell her I’ll come over to stain her fence before the cold front is supposed to move in.” I grab her hands off my shoulders and squeeze them tightly before letting them drop to her side.
“Okay, but if you change your mind–” she leaves the end of her sentence open and I lean over and kiss the side of her head.
“I know mom, but make sure you save me some brownies and cheesecake.”
She smacks the back of her hand against my stomach and I chuckle at the incredulous look on her face.
“The only reason you moved back is for my cooking.”
My dad and Rodney join us in the kitchen and my dad wraps his arms around my mom, blowing a loud raspberry in her neck. “Stop!” She squeals, trying to bat him off.
I sneak out of the kitchen while my dad irritates my mom and Rodney cheers them on.
There’s a shadow taking up space in the living room, my body freezes in panic at the unknown figure and my inhale is shaky as I try to rationalize with my brain.
This is my parent’s house. I’m not there anymore. I’m safe.
The figure moves and I can’t stop the thought from escaping my mouth as soon as I see the familiar face.
“Your hair… it’s blonde.” The shock of seeing the unnatural color fades to a dull pain aching inside me. The knowledge that if I saw him out on the street like this, I wouldn’t recognize him. Without the dark locks, he resembles a different person than the person I know. The person in front of me isn’t the boy I grew up with, the thunderstorm that drowned me without ever physically touching me.
