“I’m pregnant,” Shania’s voice rang out in the main lounge of the clubhouse floor in Elysium and my brothers fell silent.
I didn’t say anything at first. Honestly, I couldn’t. As my brothers tightened around me, either wanting to be closer as the drama unfolded or wanting to support me, I had a moment of clarity.
“If you are pregnant,” as I spoke, Shania opened her mouth but shut it quickly when I continued, “and if it is mine, then I will take care of my child.” From the way my brothers shifted on their feet, they saw the triumph in her eyes the same as I did. “We will come up with a coparenting schedule. I will not be kept from my child’s life but make no mistake about one thing—there is nothing between us.”
Her jaw dropped and for a moment she was a frozen tableau of shock and misplaced expectations. “You can’t be serious,” she sputtered. “I’m pregnant with your child, it’s your responsibility to make me your Old Lady. I know how this works,” she sneered.
“You don’t know shit,” I leaned toward her, looming above her, and she seemed to understand that things really weren’t going to go as she expected. “What I have to do is take responsibility for my child if you are pregnant with my child. I’ll always take care of my child, but what I won’t do is be trapped in some sort of relationship with you. If that was your goal, then you miscalculated.”
“You’re going to regret this,” she hissed.
My brothers stepped in closer, a reminder and a threat all in one.
“No,” my voice was low, cold, and controlled, “you are the one who is going to regret this. You have the choice to make as to whether you’re going to be a mother to my child, if this baby is mine. That decision will be on you. Also, be aware that if you doanything to harm this child, especially if it is mine, you’ll find out very quickly how bad life can truly get.”
My brothers grumbled their agreement and the temperature in the room dropped. Shania’s eyes widened as she looked around and it was obvious that the situation had truly sunk in.
She wasn’t lying and the baby was mine. Once the reality of not getting what she wanted and expected from me sunk in, it became obvious that she never cared about Rian. A baby was simply a bargaining chip to her.
As I dump my girl’s clothes into the washing machine, my phone rings. When I pull it out, my mom is calling and I answer with a smile on my face.
“Hey, Mom,” I greet her, “everything okay out at Sagebrush?”
“Everything’s fine,” she assures me. “I was just calling to talk about Rian’s birthday. It’s coming up and if you need any help with planning something, I’m here and ready to help.”
I chuckle at how excited she sounds and some of that heartbreak becomes easier to bear. Rian might not have a mother, but she has a grandmother and aunt who love her fiercely.
That’s going to have to be enough because I can’t imagine a woman coming into my life worth letting past my walls. I’ve spent too much time protecting my daughter and I will never allow anyone else to threaten her peace.
CHAPTER 2
BRIELLE
As I start to wake up, it becomes painfully obvious that I’m no longer in New York City. The noise here is different. The lack of what I’ve spent so many years listening to like a gentle lullaby is staggering. It makes it feel like I don’t have my footing here.
I guess, really, I don’t.
I’ve only been here for a month and there’s a disconnection between my life here in Las Vegas and who I think I am. Or maybe that’s what happens when you have to let a dream die silently with only the fanfare of your broken heart.
It was time.
No matter how many times I remind myself of that truth, it doesn’t help. Because it feels like giving up.
In some ways I suppose I am. As I stretch in bed, which doesn’t feel quite right in a room that feels even stranger, my body aches and reminds me exactly why I needed a change. Even though it cost me. Even though I’ve been doubting who I am now.
I dedicated my life to dance, and it gave back to me. It might not equal success to a lot of people, but I was able to cobble together a career on stages which felt like only a mirage when Iwas a little girl. They became my reality.
The stages.
The music.
The movement.
The lights.
The emotion.
The applause.
