“How can you even say that?!” she snaps, anger in her voice.
“What do you mean?”
“Cody, you haven’t left that girl’s side. You practically became a stepdad overnight. Don’t stand here and lie to me—andyourself—that you don’t have huge feelings for her.”
I clench my jaw, staring at the floor like it might tell me what to say.
“Don’t be like me,” she says, voice softer now. “Wesley was standing right in front of me my whole life and I never saw it. You guys all said it too, and I denied it. Don’t be like me.”
My body’s still stiff. I nod once, just enough for her to know I heard her. But not enough to promise anything.
Karissa’s moving next month, just forty-five minutes away. Far enough for her to figure things out without me hovering, close enough that I can still be there if she needs me. She’s got to want that independence. I know I would.
“She’s moving into Missy’s,” I tell Addie. “I’ll still be around, but I need to give her space.”
Addie doesn’t look satisfied.
“Well, then at least do her a favor and make sure she knows where you stand,” she says, voice tight…emotional even.
* * *
I showed up to talk. That was the whole point. To clear the air. Set things straight after that kiss. Tell her I didn’t mean to muddy the waters, that I care, but I’m not in a place to mess something up again.
But when I walk in and see her in the living room, rocking Emma in her arms, face flushed and crying, a switch flips.
“Karissa?”
She doesn’t say anything at first, just keeps rocking. Her hand’s shaking when she wipes her face. Emma’s not asleep, just sucking on a pacifier staring up at her.
“Can I do something?”
“I’m fine,” she insists.
“You’re clearly not.”
She shakes her head. “I only got three hours of sleep last night, and today she wouldn’t sleep unless she was in my arms. Iwant to take a shower, this shirt is covered in spit-up, and I feel disgusting.”
I cross the room with my hands out to take Emma. The transition is smooth; Karissa’s quick to get her out of her hands.
“Go. And take your time,” I tell her. She sniffles, tears still very present, and walks to her room.
I look down at Emma. Big brown eyes meet mine, clueless about what’s going on. She looks tired, so I sit back where Karissa was and rock her.
She spits the binky out, and the corner of her mouth lifts in the faintest little smile. My chest tightens, warmth swirling in a way I didn’t expect. I haven’t seen her smile yet.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I murmur, grinning down at her.
She smiles a little more, and I can’t help but mirror it, completely undone by the tiny expression.
“Your mom needs you to sleep,” I say gently, my voice catching. “Think you could do that for her?” She grins wider, like she understands, but I know she doesn’t. “Yeah? Please? So she doesn’t lose her mind?”
I laugh under my breath, but the sound is shaky. I didn’t think talking to a baby, one that isn’t even mine, would hit me like this. But it does.
After another minute of rocking with no luck, I put her in the swing. She doesn’t fuss so I leave her there and walk to the kitchen and start cleaning up.
My mind gets distracted, remembering why I came over in the first place. The kiss. I can still feel it on my lips when I think about it.
The bedroom door opens and I turn to see Karissa step out in a black pajama set, the same one she wore in the hospital. A green towel is up on her head, and her face is red in some spots, like she either just got done crying really hard or took a scalding hot shower. Maybe both.
