“Feel better?” I ask, and she nods, glancing to Emma in the swing, who’s now asleep and unbothered.
“You don’t have to do my dishes, Cody.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. You came to talk was my guess,” she says, standing off just a few feet from me, crossing her arms loosely.
I turn the sink off and turn fully toward her. I lean against the counter and dry my hands on the towel. “I did. But I want to make sure you’re okay first. Maybe it’s not a good night if you’re tired and on edge.”
“I’m not on edge,” she snaps.
I tilt my head at her. “Karissa.”
Her crossed arms tighten and she looks down.
“It’s okay…it doesn’t make you a bad mom. You’re human and you’re doing something that was never meant to be done alone.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Cody, or I’ll just cry more,” she says, then she’s quiet for a beat. “You came to talk about the kiss, so let’s talk about it.” She looks back at me.
I stifle a nervous laugh, trying my hardest not to shy away from her gaze. “Yeah.” I sigh. “You know, come August, when you move out of here, and then come September, it’s hunting season, and I’ll be swamped with work…I’m not going to be able to help you.”
She looks down and nods. “Yeah. I know.”
“It’s always been a rule between Jesse and me—no dating during hunting season. We both followed it for a while, then Ella came along and…that sorta flew out the window.” I laugh, and she laughs too, so I keep going. “I saw how hard it was for him to balance, so I’m not trying to come at it in a selfish way, but it’s just—”
“It’s your job. I get it.”
I stop, not expecting her to understand so quickly.
“I hate to keep bringing her up, but Bree…we fought like hell during that time, and I think that’s why she ended up cheating on me,” I admit.
Karissa’s eyebrows pull together. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
“I guess I’m just scared of ruining another relationship.”
“You didn’t ruin that relationship,shedid.”
“Well, I feel like I did because—”
“No, you didn’t,” she snaps again. “She chose to cheat and then you were lied to. That’s not on you.”
I look away from her. I don’t want to argue about it. I’m not going to change my mind on this. I wholeheartedly believe that if I’d have been better, been there for her, attentive, she wouldn’t have been looking for “love” elsewhere.
“Cody,” she says, and I look up. “It’s not your fault,” she whispers, stepping closer. “Don’t let her be the reason you don’t givemea chance.”
I swallow hard, caught off guard by her boldness. It makes my stomach twist. Not because I don’t want her, but because I’m scared. Scared of failing, not being enough for her, for Emma. They deserve consistency.
And I don’t think Karissa would cheat, she’s not like that, but walk away? Give up? I don’t know. It would be too late by the time I’d find out.
“I’m just, I’m too scared that I wouldn’t be enough.”
“But you’ve already been more than enough,” she whispers.
I shake my head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
The truth hurts deep in my chest; it’s heavy, uncomfortable, unbearable. My eyes sting as I try and blink back tears.
She just nods, understanding, and steps closer. This time she doesn’t hesitate. Her arms wrap around me fully, like she’s holding on for both of us. I hug her back, tighter than I mean to,breathing her in. I don’t know if we’ve ever hugged like this. Not just in passing, not casual,real.
