Her laughter directly contradicted her words.I couldn’t quite tell if she was joking, or if she wanted to murder me in my sleep.The menace dancing in her eyes suggested the latter, but I’d be damned if it wasn’t the most fascinating thing I’d ever seen.
Jesus, Liam.What is wrong with you?
“You gonna tell me why that is?”
“Also nope.I’m sure if you think about it hard enough, you’ll figure it out.”
She turned to the giant coffee-making monstrosity—the thing looked like a shiny robot—on the back counter and busied herself, turning knobs and fiddling with levers.
With the Chambers-induced headache building behind my eyes, I wish I’d choked down at least a few sips of the dishwater coffee at the B&B.After all, some caffeine was better than no caffeine.
“Do you think you could find it in your heart to make me a coffee?”I asked, softening my voice, though I fully expected Maya to say no simply because she disliked me so much.“You know, on account of my recent joblessness and all?”
She huffed a sigh, turned to me with a fake customer service smile, and spoke through gritted teeth.“Sure thing.What would you like?”
I chuckled, then winced at the slice of pain shooting through my head.“Never mind, it’s alright.”I rubbed my temples.“I don’t want to put you out.”
Maya flashed me a too-sweet smile.“No, no.Please.I live to serve.”I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I saw her eye twitch.If it weren’t so depressing, I’d laugh at how badly she sucked at pretending she hated me.“What would you like?”
I shook my head, grimacing at the fresh stab of pain.“Are you sure?I wouldn’t ask, since you clearly have a problem with me, but I’m getting a killer headache.I’d like to get it under control before I break the news to Greg.”
“Caffeine withdrawal is the worst.”She fiddled with the coffee machine again, and I could have sworn it beeped and booped like a droid.That thing was definitely a robot in a past life.“Why would Greg care if you get fired?”
“Greg is, or I suppose I should saywas, my assistant.He’ll be receiving a similar phone call right about now.”
“Why can’t he stay and be your replacement’s assistant?Is he so loyal to you that he couldn’t do his job for someone else?”
“My gut tells me my job will go to my boss’s son, Chad, and he is not a guy anyone wants to work for.He’s unqualified, utterly inept, and filled with a delusional confidence that is wholly unsupported by his performance.And as if all that weren’t bad enough, he stinks.The stench of his cologne causes more sick days than flu season.”
“Well, I think that’s dumb.”She scowled.“Greg losing his job, not the boss’s son thing, obviously.That guy sounds like an asshole.Here.”She slid a takeout cup across the counter.“Americano.I can’t promise that it’s not laced with a pants-ruining and possibly life-ending dose of laxatives.You’ll have to decide for yourself whether it’s worth the risk to drink it.”Her mouth quirked into a half-grin that she fought to control.“I don’t know why you insist on calling mePipsqueak.I’mreallynot that short.”I raised an eyebrow, and she huffed before adding, “My condolences on the job, though.”
I shook my head and smiled before taking my cup to the end of the counter where the coffee fixings were.I added a splash of cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon, admiring the rich, deep colour of the coffee as I inhaled the aroma of a quality roast.The throbbing in my head lessened in anticipation of the caffeinated relief soon to be making its way through my veins.
“Careful, Pipsqueak.”I leaned against the counter, grinning.“Keep up this overwhelming kindness and I might just have to make you fall in love with me.”
Maya snorted a laugh.“Not in this lifetime, Bishop.”
“We’ll see.”I winked, taking my coffee and turning to leave.“I can be very persuasive.”
“I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you,” she called out, still laughing as I pushed open the door.“And if you call me Pipsqueak again,” she warned, “I’ll track down Chad’s cologne and drown you in it.”
I grinned.“Sounds kinky.Let’s talk more about that later.”I narrowly dodged the paper cup she threw as I slipped out onto the sidewalk.
I took another deep drink, my headache already lessening.Damn, that’s good coffee.Maybe Maya was onto something with that coffee robot after all.
I was still chuckling to myself a few minutes later when I walked into the front room of the tiny bed-and-breakfast where Greg and I were staying.Greg sat on the plastic-encased floral loveseat in the combined lobby and reading area of the B&B, his laptop balanced on his knees, and Mr.Fluffy draped over his shoulders like a scarf.
He squinted at my cup and sniffed the air.“Is that actual coffee I smell?Where’d you get that?”
“Maya.”
He set his laptop aside.“She just … gave it to you?Of her own free will?And you didn’t get one for me?”
“Sorry, man.”I grinned.“I got distracted when she threatened to drown me in shitty cologne if I ever call her Pipsqueak again.”
Greg let out a low whistle.“You are in so far over your head.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
