I released a shuddering breath.“How can you hate what my parents did but not care about Liam doing the same thing to you?I don’t understand.”
“Oh, honey.You can’t compare what your parents did to my situation with Liam.”Her gentle expression made my chest ache.“I believe parents are supposed to always be there for their kids.It’s their job to prepare their kids for adulthood so they can move on and lead their own lives.And when those kids grow up, the parents should still be there to love and support them.”
My chest ached for a life I’d never have.A life with parents who loved me unconditionally and without end.Instead, I had parents who only loved each other, and who tolerated me only until their conscience allowed them to throw me out.
“When Liam’s mom and dad died, he was nearly twenty, and he’d already started making a life for himself.I merely stepped in to be a home base for him—someone he could count on if times got tough.I helped him with tuition, went to all the important celebrations, and made sure he knew I was here for him.What you see as Liam abandoning me, I see as my giving him a solid foundation to be confident enough to go after what he wants.”
Parents who cared enough to be a safe place for me to land?What I wouldn’t have given for that.I finally allowed the hot tears to spill down my cheeks unfettered, too heartsick to bother holding them back any longer.
“So, you’re not upset that he’s stayed away for three years?”
“Do I wish he had visited more?Of course.He’s my grandson, and I love him.Am I upset that he was doing what he thought he needed to?No.Like I said before, he’s a grown man and he has to live his life the way he thinks is best.Even if what he thinks is best is sometimes unquestionably foolish.”
I swiped at my cheeks, dashing away tears with my sleeves.“I wish I’d had someone like you when I was growing up, Nana.”
“Your parents are selfish, immature, festering dickholes, honey.That’s all there is to it.”
I burst out laughing.“Festering dickholes?That’s a new one.”
“I’m fond of it,” she chuckled.“I read it in a book a while back, and I’ve been saving it for a special occasion.Now, why don’t you settle in and tell me all about these phone calls from your dickhole parents?”
After talking to Nana, I grabbed my noise-cancelling headphones and headed to Carlisle Memorial Park to think things over.Some quality time with Alan Rickman was exactly what I needed to soothe my frazzled nerves.I didn’t listen to my old CD often, but if ever there was a time for Rickman comfort, it was now.His voice never failed to soothe me and help me get my thoughts in order.
I desperately needed help with both things today, because I didn’t know what to think anymore.
If I’d had normal parents, would it have been easier for me to leave home?If I’d had a home to go back to … would my life be different now?Probably.I could have gone to college as I’d planned.Maybe I would have dated beyond high school.
I wasn’t some blushing virgin, but my experience was minimal compared to Andie and Sierra.Case in point: I’d called Liam’s dick majestic.Who does that?I’d practically died of embarrassment on the spot.Thinking about it made my stomach knot with humiliation.
Then again, if I’d had normal parents, I’d still be in my hometown.No Nana.No Sierra.No Andie.No Liam,who,against my better judgment, I was developing a small soft spot for.
Alan Rickman’s voice filled my ears, reciting Shakespeare’s Sonnet 130.Of all his recordings, this was my favourite.Maybe it wasn’t the Bard’s intent, but I loved the idea of someone seeing their partner’s flaws and thinking, “they’re still perfect for me”.English Lit class had fallen smack in the middle of my angsty teen era, so my analysis may have been rusty, but even so, I loved the way Sonnet 130 made me believe there was someone out there for everyone.
Not that I thought it would work that way for me.Liam was the first man I’d been even remotely attracted to since I left home, and there was no way he wanted anything to do with me.Especially not when I’d behaved like a complete asshat to him since day one.
That was another problem I needed to face.I’d been a total jerk to Liam, and according to Nana, it was all for nothing.She’d never had a problem with Liam’s being unable to visit.My relationship with my parents twisted the way I viewed Liam’s relationship with Nana.I would never forgive my parents for what they did.
But Sierra and Andie had done nothing wrong.In fact, they’d done everything right.They were the best friends I’d ever had.They helped me become part of the community here in Carlisle Creek, and if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have anything resembling a normal life.Because of their friendship, Ialmostfelt like a normal twenty-three-year-old woman.
Of course, a normal twenty-three-year-old woman wouldn’t call the best dick she’d ever seenmajestic.A fresh surge of humiliation flooded my system, so I flung myself on the nearest bench and buried my face in my hands.
Majestic.Ugh.Could I be any more ridiculous?
At least I had the park to myself.Who knew Carlisle Memorial Park was the perfect refuge for private pity parties?
Suddenly, the source of all my confusion dropped onto the bench beside me, grinning from ear to ear.“Hey, Pipsqueak.Feeling any better?”
Apparently, my pity party was not so private after all.
“Pipsqueak?Again?”His eyes sparked with interest, but my heart wasn’t into making creative threats.I sighed.“I thought I had the park to myself.”
“What, no death threat?”He grinned.
I grimaced, a twinge of guilt gnawing at me.He was being friendly.He didn’t deserve shitty treatment from me, especially after how kind he’d been this morning.“I don’t have the energy for death threats right now.Rain check?”
“Looking forward to it.”
“Fine.So … what brings you to the park?”He’s the last person I would have wanted to see me like this.
