“No, Tina. That’s not what I was laugh—”
Her answering chuckle is dry, humorless. “You know what? I really don’t give a shit what you were laughing at. Maybe it’s better that we call this off now. I can’t be with someone who thinks a kid losing his parents is funny.”
“For fuck’s sake, Tina. Will you please shut up for a minute and let me explain?”
She crosses her arms over her chest and gives me a look so dark I have to will my body not to tremble. Why does this remind me of what she told me about butchering pigs and cleaning blood? I’m fucking this up. Badly.
I wonder if Wade’s already taught her how to dispose of a body without being caught.
“I’m sorry,” she says, the calm tone of her voice unnerving. “Please, continue. Explain to me why it’s funny that Carson lost his parents.”
Fuck. That’s not what I meant. That’s the least funny thing about all this.
I release a strangled breath as I think over how to say this. I don’t want to trivialize her worries about Carson. Just because I’m the stranger he’ll be living with doesn’t mean her feelings are any less valid. I only hope when I tell her, she’s relieved.
“When I first spoke with Jared’s foster parents and his caseworker about having him come to an extended training camp, they said there were courses I’d need to take and certifications I’d need to get. Because he’d be staying here with me for so long, they had to be sure I’d be a suitable temporary guardian for him.”
Tina widens her eyes and dips her head slightly, in a “yes, and?” motion, like she’s telling me to get on with it.
“There wasn’t really anything that fit our particular situation, so Gloria, Jared’s caseworker, came up with a plan for me to take a certain training. Foster parent training, Tina.”
Her mouth opens, and she looks to the sky. “You’ve taken the foster parent training?”
I nod. “Yes. And now that Jared’s foster parents have disappeared, he will be living with me full time, at least until he turns eighteen.” I shrug. “He’s welcome to stay with me after,of course, but I assume he’ll want to go to college or something. Or continue with fighting. I’ll support him either way.”
Her face softens as she takes me in. “That’s nice of you, Nick. But I don’t really know why you’re telling me this. I admit I don’t know much about it, but I don’t think there’s any way to cheat the training. You can’t give me your crib notes to help me get through foster parent training faster.” She chuckles. “What am I missing here?”
She’s so worried she can’t get the pieces to fit together, so I take a deep breath and say it. “Carson is staying with me.”
“Shut up.” Her mouth works, but nothing further comes out.
“That was my emergency last night. Gloria called after Wade and I threw that asshole into the dumpster. I had to leave so I could meet her at my house to get Carson settled in.”
“No. What?” She shakes her head like she doesn’t believe what she’s hearing. “Wait.What?Why didn’t he say anything to me when he showed up for work?”
“You’d have to ask him that. I didn’t see him when I went downstairs earlier, but I bet that’s what Jared meant when he messaged me ‘you’ll never guess who’s here’. I assume he’s in the restaurant somewhere.”
I can see the tension seep from her body, the muscles in her neck and shoulders loosening in front of my eyes, and I can’t help but to relax a little myself. I might be mistaken, but I think hearing that Carson will stay helped her. And fuck if that doesn’t make me proud.
“He’s living with you?”
I risk taking a step forward, wanting to wrap her in my arms again, but understanding she may still need some space. “Yes,” I say, my voice a soft whisper.
“And that’s why you wanted to talk?”
I nod.
“Holy shit,” she says on a breath, walking back to the couch before flopping down onto the middle cushion. “Holy shit, Nick. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that the words ‘we need to talk’ should never be uttered unless you’re breaking up with someone? You scared me half to death.” She pats the seat next to her and gives me a tired smile before sinking against the back of the couch. “I decide to give this dating thing a shot with you, and then you bust out the ‘we need to talk’. After what was happening with Carson, I nearly died from the stress. Andthatstressed me out even more, because if I died, where would Carson go?”
I lower myself onto the couch next to her and drape an arm over her shoulder, my heart still racing. “I thought you would decide I wasn’t worth the trouble, now that I’m basically a father to two teenage boys. I figured that would be a lot to ask of someone who swore off dating because she never wanted to have to look after another person.”
I see her cringe from the corner of my eye.
“Until recently, you probably would have been right. But with meeting you, and with Carson, and with finally coming to terms with the idea that I’ve always taken care of people, I think I’m coming around.” She shifts, throwing an arm over my belly and resting her head on my chest. “These last twenty-four hours have been a lot.” She releases a heavy sigh that develops into an enormous yawn. “I’m exhausted.”
I pull her closer and drop a kiss on the top of her head. “I bet you are. Unfortunately, you can’t nap right now.”
She rolls her head to the side to scowl at me, and even when she’s exhausted and angry, she’s adorable. I still can’t quite believe I didn’t ruin this.
