Jared smiles again. “Yes,Dad,”he jokes. “See you later.”
I follow him out of the room and down the stairs, waving from the door as he gets into his friend’s car and drives away.
I blow out a breath and leave the house, locking the door behind me. It’s been more than the half an hour I said it would be, but I’m still going to see Tina.
After all, I have to find a way to share my big news. I’m basically a dad now.
I run back toTina’s place, still wearing my orange shorts and the too-tight Tit Peepers shirt. It’s a little uncomfortable, but the way Tina couldn’t stop her eyes from devouring me earlier makes it worth it. Too bad I’ll need to rip it to get it off.
The first thing I notice when I get to Tina’s building is that all the lights are off, both in the restaurant and upstairs in her apartment. And I still haven’t changed the lightbulb above the stairs for her, so the only light is from the streetlight at the police station a couple doors down. The next thing I notice is how quiet it is. I’m the only person out here. It’s peaceful.
It’s peaceful until a scream cuts through the air, shattering the silence like so much fragile glass.
I snicker to myself, and head for the side of the building where the stairs to Tina’s apartment are located. Another scream drifts down the stairs. “You dirty son of a bitch.” Tina sounds even angrier than she did the last time Winston got into her underwear. He must have gotten into the good stuff. I tighten my grip on the railing in anticipation of his inevitable departure from the apartment. The last thing I need is to be knocked down the stairs by a runaway goat strung with Tina’s lingerie. “I can’t believe you thought it was okay to come into my apartment. What is wrong with you?”
As I’m climbing the last few stairs to the unlit landing, I hear a man’s voice mutter, “We had a date.”
Now, I know for a fact that Tina doesn’t date. I mean, she’s told me often enough, hasn’t she? So there’s no way she has a date with whoever is talking to her right now. At least, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t.
“Get the fuck out of my apartment, you asshole,” I hear Tina scream. “I already told you, that wasn’t me.”
I jump the last two stairs and grip the doorknob to Tina’s apartment, but it doesn’t turn. It’s locked, for once.
“Tina,” I call through the door. “Are you okay?”
“Fine.” There’s a crashing sound followed by a loud thump that rumbles under my feet. “Be right there.”
“You bitch,” I hear the man reply. “Do you have any idea who I am?”
“I don’t give a shit who you are.” Another crash punctuates Tina’s words. “All I care about is getting you out of my apartment without breaking every teapot I own.” Another crash. “Now get out.” Crash.
“You would be lucky to go out with me,” the guy says. Another crash and another floor shaking thump rattles me. “I took pity on you when I made that date. A high value man like me would never be interested in someone like you.”
“Oh, good grief. Can you hear yourself? High value? I can guarantee that any man who has to refer to himself as high value is anything but. Also,” she says, her voice getting louder as footsteps sound like they’re getting closer to the door. “I would shower more frequently if I were you. I don’t know how long you were hiding up here, but thanks to you, my apartment now stinks like shitty body spray and b.o. It’s disgusting.” The door clicks and then opens. Tina gestures for me to come in but continues facing a strange man laying on the floor in front of her couch.
She’s not kidding about the smell. I’m tempted to cover my nose, which is saying something since I work in a gym filled with sweaty fighters and senior citizens every day. A closer look shows that the man is lying in the middle of a ton of broken pottery in a rainbow of colors, with miniature trees, buildings, headstones, and greenery mixed in with the pieces. The cut on his foreheadis trickling blood, and his eyes are a little wild when he looks from me to Tina.
“Looks like I missed all the fun.” I hold a hand out to the guy on the floor. “I’m Nick. And you are?”
The guy snorts at me with a disgusted look on his face before scrambling to his feet and turning to Tina. “This guy? Really? You’re turning me down for this guy?”
Tina laughs. “No, idiot. I’m turning you down because you’re a reprehensible worm. Nick doesn’t factor into my choice at all. Even if he weren’t here, I still wouldn’t date you. I have standards.”
“You’ll regret this,” the guy says with a sneer. “You were lucky an alpha dom like me took pity on you once. I can guarantee it will never happen again. A high value alpha only wants a woman who can bring something to the table. All you bring is ugly glasses and a fat ass.”
“Okay, that’s enough, buddy.” I say, crowding into his space, using my size to intimidate him. “Tin—”
“You little weasel.” Tina steps around me and pokes a finger in the man’s chest, pushing him back toward the door. “I was nice when you came into the restaurant last time, but I’m done with being nice.” Quicker than some heavyweights I’ve fought over the course of my career, Tina winds up and throws a massive haymaker, hitting the guy square in the face, knocking him out on impact. I watch him crumple to the floor, too stunned to even laugh.
“Damn it,” Tina complains, shaking out her fist as she looks down at the crumpled heap on the floor. “Now, how will I get him out of here?”
With a chuckle, I step forward, grab the man’s arms, and hoist him into a fireman’s carry. “That’s where I come in. Can you get the door for me?”
Tina scrambles to open the door, her mouth wide as she watches me carry the man out of her apartment and down the stairs. I’m about to drop him on the sidewalk when a voice from the building next door catches my attention.
“Hey, Nick. I heard some concerning noises coming from Tina’s place. You the cause of that ruckus just now?” I look over to see Wade Biddescombe standing in front of the door to his realty office. “Is that Milton Maguire you’ve got there?”
I adjust the dead weight I have slung over my shoulder. “I have no idea. Tina knocked him out because he was in her apartment uninvited. I’m just taking out the trash.”
