Chapter Thirty-eight
Daisy-Mae
True to his word, Westdidn’t come to bed last night.He didn’t even make it to the couch.Instead, he slept in the barn with a bull who thinks he’s an overgrown dog.I’m already packing mine and Waylon’s things when he comes in for his morning coffee.
He takes one look at the stack of baby clothing and the trash bags I’m filling and leans against the counter, his head bowed.“You don’t have to leave right away.”
“It’ll be easier if I do.”
“Easier on who?”he whispers, and then turns to start his coffee machine.“You want one?”
“I’m okay,” I say sadly.“I just need to keep going here.”
West scoffs.“In an awful hurry to leave, aren’t you?”
“You made it pretty clear last night that this was done, and I don’t stay where I’m not wanted.”My voice cracks, and my traitorous eyes glisten with tears.Goddamn it.I’m so fucking tired of crying over men.
“Dais,” his tone softens.“Fuck.I’m an asshole.You’re wanted here.You’re so fucking wanted.Hell, I want you both to stay forever.”
Tears spill over my lashes and trail down my cheeks.I wipe them away.West crosses the room and pulls me into his arms.
“You were right last night,” I whisper through a shaky breath.“We should both get used to being alone again.”
He closes his eyes and when he opens them again, the blue is electric and rheumy with tears.“I don’t wanna.”
“Me either.”I search his face, not above pleading now that I know he’s as torn up about this as I am.“We don’t have to do this.Plenty of people have long distance relationships, West.”
“Your whole life, you’ve been made to feel like you were someone else’s burden.It started with your mama and then Eddie, but that’s what makes them trash, Dais, not you.You’ve never been a burden to me, not for a single second, but I also won’t be one for you.”He smooths the tears from under my eyes, his strong hands warm and comforting in their familiarity.“You have no idea how much your world is about to open up, and I’m not gonna be the one to hold you back.”
I sob quietly into his chest and West cups my cheeks and kisses my forehead, my nose and finally, my lips.It’s not passionate, it doesn’t sear through me, lighting my whole world on fire.It’s a goodbye, an ending, a wish we never were.He pulls away and his own eyes are wet with tears.
“Listen, I can’t watch you pack up and leave.”He sniffs and wipes the saltwater from his cheeks with the hem of his shirt.“I like to think I’m pretty tough, but I ain’t strong enough to watch the two of you walk out of my life, so I’m gonna send Lemon and Colt to help you with your things.”
“West.”
He shakes his head, quieting my protests.“I love you, darlin’.I’m so fucking happy for you.”
My hammering heart splits in two as he kisses my crown and walks away.As if my baby can sense what’s just happened here, Waylon lets out a startled cry, and I close my eyes for a brief second and allow myself to feel every little bit of this heartache.And it does ache.I feel as if my entire chest has fractured.
When I open my eyes again.I wipe the tears from my face and set about comforting my baby as West’s truck pulls out of the drive, taking half of my heart with him.
