I think about that man holding a gun to my head. That’s the world my child would be a part of if Gabriel were around.
I finally get why my mother wanted me out of that town because at this very moment, I would do anything to keep my child away from Ravens Ridge.
Eventually, I break the news to my mom, and after several long conversations, we decide not to tell Gabriel.
I’m going to be a mother all alone.
Iget why they call it labor. Holy shit. I thought I was going to literally split in half. The nurses said she came pretty fast for my first baby, but eight hours seemed like forever. We’ve been patiently waiting for her to come for a week, but it seems she wasn’t ready.
This morning, a week overdue, my water broke. There were times over the last several months that I wasn’t sure I could do it. And today has been a whirlwind of emotions, but the moment they placed her in my arms, I knew it was worth it.
The first thing I noticed when they handed her to me was how much she looks like him.It’s a bittersweet feeling. Part of me loves that I have a little piece of him, the other part feels like this reminder might turn the knife from now until eternity.
“Oh, sweetheart! You did so well,” Gran coos as she walks into the room.
I beam up at her. For the first time in my life, I’m proud of myself. Gran came to stay with us last week so she could be with me the whole time. My mom’s been better lately, but she’s not Gran.
“Did you pick a name yet?” Jess sits on thecouch in the corner of the room.
I’ve had a name picked out since I found out I was having a girl, but I haven’t been ready to tell anyone.
“Yeah.” I nod, grinning. “Magnolia June.”
There are “awe’s” from everyone in the room except Gran. She gives a tight-lipped smile, and I know she sees right through me.
After passing her around for what feels like an hour, the room finally clears to just Gran and me. She sits on the edge of the bed, smiling down at Magnolia in my arms.
“Magnolia, huh?”
I can’t meet her gaze.
I’ve never met anyone who can read every thought in my head like she can.
“Uh-huh.”
“Ashton, I’m so proud of you.” She squeezes my arm. “He’s missing out on two very special girls.”
Tears prick my eyes, and I finally lift them to hers.
“You know, your grandpa and I used to sit under that tree.” She gives me a sad smile. “The first time I saw you two out there, it reminded me of us.”
I wipe a stray tear with my shoulder.
“Heartache is so painful, my dear, but what a gift it is to experience a love so deep.” She takes a breath. “When I lost him, it felt like a great injustice, but as time has passed, I’ve realized I was so lucky. Even if I didn’t get fifty years with him, I got a love that most never experience. I know you only got one summer with that boy, but what a special summer you had.”
I let the tears flow as Gran wraps her arms around me.Itwasa special summer, and looking down at the perfect child in my arms, I have no regrets.
38
ASH
AUGUST PRESENT DAY
Itried to call Gabriel a dozen times after he left Jess’s house, but he wouldn’t pick up the phone. Isn’t that ironic? So, I packed an overnight bag before heading back to Ravens Ridge.
I’d just pulled into town when I ran into him at the gas station.
My heart caved in. He looked… I don’t know. Broken? Lost? I’ve never seen Gabriel like that. Normally, he’s the strong one. But then, there he was dark circles, messy hair, and eyes full of thunder.
