‘You want to call our daughter the same name as an evil witch?’
‘Well, I was considering Hagrid ... but I thought that might be a step too far.’
But picking out a name for a real-life baby was yet another treasured moment we never got to experience.
After leaving the workshop we headed down one of the many footpaths that threaded through the tall pines. The ground was thick with snow here, where it was protected from the sunlight by a lacy dome of interwoven boughs.
‘Careful,’ Josh cautioned as my crutch skidded away from me. His hand reached out to grab my elbow and he forgot to remove it as we continued down the meandering pathway. And I forgot to remind him.
Eventually we came to the place where he’d been leading me. It was a natural clearing, most of which was taken up by a large lake, whose surface was frozen as solid as an ice rink. Even so, Josh bent down and clipped the lead back on to Fletcher’s collar. It was probably overly cautious, because I doubted Fletcher would do anything as daft as venturing on to the frozen surface.
‘It doesn’t hurt to be careful. A guy I used to know lost his life rescuing a dog who’d fallen through the ice.’
‘How terrible,’ I said, bending down and double-checking the clasp on Fletcher’s collar.
‘Don’t worry. I won’t let anything bad happen to Adam’s dog,’ Josh said solemnly. There was a weight behind those simple words that almost bowled me over.
It emboldened me to risk shattering the convivial mood, but there was an almost church-like feel to this place. The lake, the ice-bedecked trees, and the silence of the forest ... they made it seem like a confessional.
I didn’t know I was going to ask the question until it came out, almost of its own volition. I didn’t even know it still bothered me. But clearly it did.
‘Why did you do it, Josh? Why did you come and see me right before my wedding?’
‘Lily.’ His eyes pleaded with me not to go there.
But this time I pressed on. I’d be leaving here soon, and he owed me an answer to this question at least, after all these years.
‘Why, Josh?’
‘I . . . It was . . . it was a mistake.’
‘What was? Coming to see me, or what happened afterwards because of it?’
‘All of it,’ he said, his eyes unreadable. ‘It was all just one big, horrible, stupid mistake ...’
Chapter Twenty Five
Six Years Earlier
He wasn’t meant to be there. But then Josh was good at that. There were a great many places where he wasn’t supposed to show up ... and still did.
Like in the middle of the night when I woke from an old dream and only just managed to stop his name from escaping my lips.
Or crossing my thoughts every time I saw someone with inky dark hair on a street somewhere.
Or in my head whenever I walked past a sycamore tree.
But the one place he really, really wasn’t meant to be was standing at the door of my hotel accommodation at the venue where in two days I was going to get married.
‘Josh. What the hell?’
‘Not quite the greeting I was hoping for,’ he said. There was a smile on his face that looked like it wasn’t sure whether it should be there. It shouldn’t have. Just like the man it belonged to.
‘You’re not meant to be here,’ I said, self-consciously cinching the courtesy towelling robe tighter around my waist. I threw aconcerned glance over his shoulder at the hotel grounds, desperately hoping Adam hadn’t decided to go for a late-night stroll. His room was in the main building, whereas I was staying in one of the cluster of lodges set among the trees. The neighbouring lodge was reserved for my parents, who fortunately weren’t arriving until the morning.
‘If I wasn’t meant to be here, why did you send me a wedding invitation?’ Josh asked, not entirely unreasonably.
‘Because I thought you’d politely decline it, which, in case you’ve forgotten, you did.’
