‘You don’t have to understand now why I’m asking you to do this, but you do have to promise me you’ll go.’
My sigh was long and heartfelt. ‘Alright. If it means this much to you, I’ll do it.’
‘And don’t wait too long. Go to him soon. Promise me.’
‘I promise.’
There is probably a special place in hell for people who lie to someone who’s dying, and I was already halfway there.
It happened in the dark, middle-of-the-night hours, when so many warriors finally lose their fight. I knew it was getting closer by the worried expression in the eyes of the nurses as they came in to check on him.
I struggled to slip out of the bed but a senior nurse, one I’d never really warmed to, stopped me from getting up by placing a firm hand on my shoulder.
‘You’re fine just where you are,’ she said quietly.
The lump in my throat was almost impossible to swallow past.
‘Would you like someone to stay in the room with you?’ She turned her head and nodded to a shadowy corner. ‘We could sit quietly over there.’
I shook my head. ‘I think I’d like it to be just the two of us.’
Her hand was back on my shoulder, gently squeezing it. ‘That’s okay. I understand. You can buzz if you change your mind.’
Adam fought to keep his eyes open for as long as he could; fought to stay with me for every single second we had left. But his body was struggling, and I was hurting him by wanting him to hold on a little bit longer, just for me.
‘Close your eyes, sweetheart.’
‘I don’t want to. I want to see you.’
I leant up and gently kissed him again. ‘I’m there behind your eyes, whether they’re open or closed.’
‘You are and always will be the love of my life, Lily.’
‘And you are mine.’
His eyes closed briefly. ‘Please remember what I asked tonight.’
‘I remember. I remember everything,’ I said. That much at least was no lie. There were some things that would stay with me for all time.
‘I am going to close my eyes now,’ he said, his voice so weak I could hardly hear it.
‘Good idea.’
‘I’ll see you soon, Lily.’
‘You sure will.’
But that was the second lie I told him that night.
Fifteen minutes later, the gap between his breaths grew longer and longer, and then quietly, with the same dignity and braverythat was uniquely his, Adam Tennant – my husband, my best friend, and the love of my life – simply stopped being.
I stared down at his face which, for the first time in months, looked free from pain. From the corner of his eye a single tear had escaped and sat on his cheekbone like a dropped diamond. I bent down and gently kissed it away.
Chapter One
One Year Later
I was awake long before the alarm, watching as the inky February sky finally changed from black to grey. I had thought I was ready for today, but now that it had finally arrived, all I felt was overwhelmed.
