“When will men be permitted to board the lifeboats?” Cassian called out to the officers in charge.
“Not when there are still women and children around,” one of the officers replied.
“But that boat you’ve loaded, it only looks half full,” Cassian reasoned.
“Let us worry about that,” the same officer retorted.
Immediately, the second officer chimed in. “Yes, we must focus here!”
Cassian clenched his teeth to hold back the scream of frustration that was poised to rip forth. Beside him, James was watching the scene intensely, worry in his beautiful blue eyes, and Cassian reminded himself that he needed to remain calm and confident, if only to keep the man he loved from panicking.
He took a breath.
“He’s right,” Cassian forced out in a much more measured tone. “Obviously, these men know what they’re doing. After the bulk of the women and children have safely boarded some of the lifeboats, they’ll let the rest of us on the ones that remain.”
“Will there even be enough time?” James asked.
“Or enough boats?” John Quinn chimed in.
Cassian swallowed hard. No, likely not enough of either.
“Of course there will be,” he lied. “You’ll see.”
Someone came up next to them, huffing as though he was in a hurry. Cassian recognized the man at once. It was the nighttime cabin steward responsible for his section on B-Deck. He was carrying a large pile of linens.
“Ah, it seems like your friend was able to find you,” the man said to James, smiling a little, though his eyes were wide and wildand filled with unease. “Listen, I was asked to find blankets for the passengers boarding the lifeboats. Would you do me a favor by fetching a few more from the B-Deck staterooms? I helped one of the other cabin stewards clean out the lot of blankets from most of the A-Deck cabins already.” Balancing the pile of blankets on his left forearm, he thrust his right hand into his pocket. “Here.” He handed James a single key with a metal tag. “It’s the key for the staterooms on B-Deck.”
“Uhm. But . . .” James blinked at the key a few times. “Won’t there be . . . water?”
“Not yet,” the steward said. “Hopefully.”
One of the officers called out, “Blankets! Do we have blankets here for the passengers?”
“Coming! I have them!” the steward yelled back. He nodded at James. “Best of luck to you tonight, sir.”
The man strode away. James looked over at Cassian.
“I-I have to go find blankets,” he stammered, his words rushing out as he shook his head in disbelief. “Our ship is sinking, and I have to find blankets.”
“Then I will come with you.” Cassian placed a hand on one of James’s shoulders and squeezed. “We should find some for ourselves anyway. We’ll need them when we board a lifeboat. And I can retrieve a few items from my stateroom as well. Valuables.”
James chewed on his bottom lip for a moment.
“What if there’s water?”
“There won’t be,” Cassian said, though he had no way of knowing whether or not such a thing was true.
“What if the ship makes a sudden plunge while we’re retrieving the blankets? What if we’re in a cabin and at first there’s no water but then there’s a wholerushof water?”
“Well, then we better move fast,” Cassian said. He looked over at Ethel and John. “James and I will be back soon. If those officersstart letting more men on the boats, I want both of you to board one. Even if we aren’t back yet. Do you understand?”
Both Ethel and John nodded. Cassian took James’s free hand and pulled him forward—relishing the brief bit of forbidden contact—and then let go once they were inside. On their way to B-Deck, they passed swarms of people—some of them worried and frantic, others eerily calm—and maybe it was only Cassian’s imagination, but it felt as though the ship was becoming more and more lopsided as they hurried through it. In only minutes, though, they reached the B-Deck staterooms. Thank God the flooding seemed not to have reached this part of the ship as of yet.
Hurriedly, Cassian and James entered random rooms, swiping blankets off of beds. Cassian kept checking on James, making sure that the man was still holding himself together. Surprisingly, even though James was very clearly frightened, he was somehow managing to stay focused on his mission. Every movement he made, every action he took, he executed with poise and purpose and expediency. And Cassian couldn’t help but feel a little proud of his wonderful steward for it. Despite the fact that James’s courage and confidence were softer and quieter than Cassian’s own, James still clearly possessed plenty of both, and seeing them was providing Cassian with a renewed sense of hope that perhaps they’d make it out of this alive.
Next, James unlocked Cassian’s room.
Cassian pushed past him and hurried inside. He threw the pile of blankets he’d been holding onto the floor and immediately went to find the most important possessions that he’d brought with him to Europe. As soon as he located his leather suitcase in the closet, he threw it open. Inside, hidden beneath a couple of shirts, there was a bundle of five thousand dollars in cash plus his father’s pocket watch. He shoved the cash into his pants pocket. Jamesknelt beside him as he picked up the watch. Dangling it from its chain, Cassian held it out for James to see.
