He shook his head. “Don’t be.”
“But you look so upset.”
Cassian huffed a slightly bitter laugh.
“I am,” he confirmed. “But I’m only upset with myself. And for mostly unrelated reasons.” He took a pause, pursing his lips as he worked out what to say next. “Ethel, regardless of how it makes your mother feel, and regardless of how you think your father might have felt about the matter, too, I hope that you still intend to confess your feelings to Mr. Quinn.” Pausing, he inhaled a breath and then clicked his tongue once. “I spent the entirety of my life working to please other people. Even as a child, my largest and most pressing concern was whether I’d please my parents and their friends. I never let myself consider what it was thatIwanted in life.” He curled his fingers around Ethel’s and squeezed. “Let yourself want, Ethel. Let yourself seize whatever it is that you want as well. Forget our families. Forget our friends back in New York. Forget the whole of our little circle here on the ship. Be with Mr. Quinn if it will make you happy. Your mother will either come to her senses and support you, or she will miss out on being part of the lovely life that you will no doubt make for yourself.”
Ethel squeezed back. “Thank you, Cassian. I hope that you will let yourself want, too.”
“I will. I am.” He smiled warmly. “Don’t worry about me.”
Seconds passed while the pair smiled at each other, the enormity of their separate but connected futures before them, when therewas a sudden, fiercejolt. Cassian’s muscles tensed. Ethel squeezed his hand once more. Both of their eyes widened as the sensation was swiftly followed by a rumbling vibration, like the ship was rolling over many thousands of marbles.
When it was over, Cassian and Ethel both began to look around the room.
“Goodness, what was that?” Ethel asked.
“Let’s find out,” Cassian said, standing.
Hand in hand, they walked to the door and went out into the corridor. Cassian surveyed the length of the hall, searching for a cabin steward. Mr. Quinn came out into the corridor, too, his face marked with concern.
“Mr. Livingston,” he said. “You must have felt that as well. I wonder—”
He cut himself off the moment his eyes fell to Cassian and Ethel’s linked hands. Cassian watched the man’s expression change multiple times in fast succession—first into surprise, then into something that seemed like a briefflashof fury, and finally, lastly, into what might have been embarrassment. Mr. Quinn’s eyes then moved back and forth between Cassian’s face and Ethel’s. Cassian opened his mouth to speak, but before he could even begin to explain the reason why he was not only holding Ethel’s hand but had been spending time with her alone in his stateroom some twenty minutes or so before midnight, the cabin steward rounded the corner.
“Nothing to worry about,” the man said. “I believe we might have kicked a propeller blade is all.”
Cassian nodded once to acknowledge what the man had said, the worry he’d felt over the peculiar sensations from before withering away. Then, he refocused on Mr. Quinn as the cabin steward walked past them to reassure some other passengers farther down the corridor.
“Mr. Quinn, I need to speak with you,” Cassian said, releasing Ethel’s hand. He pointed to the man’s stateroom. “Now.”
After a second of stunned silence, Mr. Quinn hurried inside. Cassian looked over his shoulder as he neared the room and caught Ethel’s eye.
“I’ll fix this,” he said. “Go relax in my room. Mr. Quinn and I will be there shortly.”
Without waiting for her answer, Cassian turned and went inside Mr. Quinn’s room to find his valet sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes downcast, his hands folded on his lap.
“Are you relieving me of my position?” he asked. “You have every right to.” He closed his eyes and began to bounce his leg. “Yesterday morning, in your stateroom, I thought that you were... communicating something with me. Something about you and Ethel, maybe. But I misread it. Clearly.” After a pause, he opened his eyes and lifted them to meet Cassian’s. His eyebrows were pinched, his expression pleading and remorseful. “Oh, Mr. Livingston, my mother always said that I wear my heart on my sleeve. And... on my face. And so, I imagine that I must have said a lot back there. But I promise you, I can and will move past my misgivings about Miss Barrington’s and your relationship. And—and those misgivings are not evenbecauseof you. Or because of her. But because of me. Still, if you’d rather find a new valet... I’ll understand.”
Cassian inhaled a long breath and sighed. Then, he started over to the bed.
“You did not misread things yesterday, Mr. Quinn.” He sat beside his valet on the mattress. “I knew of your feelings for Ethel, and I did, indeed, intend to reassure you that nothing... unsavory had ever happened between me and her. And that’s still the case.” Cassian leaned forward to rest his forearms on his knees. “And now I want you to know that Ethel and I have ended our engagement.”Mr. Quinn sucked in a fast breath, but Cassian continued. “No one else knows yet. Aside from her mother. Althoughsheonly found out earlier tonight. In fact, that’s the only reason why I was holding Ethel’s hand before. I was comforting her since her mother was, predictably, less than thrilled with the news.” He looked over. “Ethel is in love withyou, John. Of course I can’t marry her.”
“Wh-what?” John Quinn blinked a few times, shaking his head in bewilderment. “She’s... she’sin lovewith me?”
Cassian let out a light laugh. “Yes, she is.”
“But . . . why?”
“Love isn’t logical, John. You must have charmed her. Enchanted her.” He shrugged. “Besides, why wouldn’t Ethel be in love with you? You’re a kind man. Hardworking. Funny, on occasion. Gentle. Really, she and you are a perfect match.”
Mr. Quinn’s hand flew to his face, and he touched his fingers to his lips. He seemed to be at a loss for words. His cheeks slowly began to flush.
“But we haven’t even... I-I mean, she’s been with you this whole time and—”
“Andwhileshe’s been with me, she’s been spending plenty of time with you,” Cassian said. “It might not have been apropercourtship, but I firmly believe that it was one, whether or not either of you realized it while it was happening.Icertainly did not realize it for a while.”
John winced.
