Ethel continued to cry. Cassian began to massage his left temple with his fingertips.
“Ethel, why—”
“I’ll lose everything,” she said. “Oh, Cassian, my whole family will think so poorly of me. Especially if I marry John. It will look like I left you for your valet.”
“Aren’t you, though?” he tried to tease.
But that only made Ethel cry more. Cassian heaved a sigh. Ethel was right. Dear God, her relationship with Mr. Quinn would reflect poorly on all of them. Mr. Quinn would look like a home breaker. Ethel would be marked as a woman of easy virtue. Cassian himself would look foolish and weak. But if Ethel wanted to bewith the man she loved, then it seemed to him that this was simply the collective price that they’d all have to pay.
And Cassian was prepared to pay it. After all, he cared for Ethel. Quite a bit. Yet he had spent the entirety of their voyage so far, minus a few hours here and there, falling in love with someone else. Looking back on their time aboard the ship, Cassian realized that perhaps he hadn’t beenentirelyfaithful to his fiancée (somewhat unwittingly on his part, though now he realized that maybe massaging James’s cheeks and cuddling the man in the pool hadn’t exactly helped keep things platonic between them). Obviously Ethel hadn’t been faithful to him, either, with regard to her feelings, but still, Cassian had a responsibility to her. He’d promised her things like safety and security. And he still wanted to uphold that promise, especially since he himself stood to benefit from their engagement ending.
“Ethel,Iwill speak to your family,” he said. “I’ll let them know that I was the one whochose to end our engagement, maybe for financial reasons or... or whatever other remotely believable excuse I can come up with. Whether or not they’ll continue to believe me once you marry Mr. Quinn is out of my control, but I promise that I willtryto make things easier for you. On that front, I’ll find other employment for Mr. Quinn as soon as I can. I’ll help you two start your lives together, too, if needed. Unfortunately, because of the way things are in our society, there are certain consequences that we willallneed to live with if this is the path we—you, Mr. Quinn, and I—choose to walk.”
And Cassian was prepared to walk it for her. And for himself, too.
Images of James’s sweet face flitted into Cassian’s mind, and his stomach swooped as he smiled to himself. Yes, he was more than prepared to help Ethel if it meant that he could be with the man he... oh, God, the man heloved.
Cassian’s heart pitter-pattered from a sudden surge of elation.
He wasin love.
Ethel sniffled, and the sound pulled Cassian out of his thoughts.
“You’d really do all of that for me?” she asked.
Immediately, Cassian replied, “I would.”
Exhaling a long, shaky breath, Ethel wiped her eyes some more, smearing some of her black eye makeup in the process. Cassian lifted his hand to her cheek and cleared it away with his thumb.
“Thank you,” she said.
Cassian caressed her cheek once again before removing his hand. He pushed himself to his feet, walked back to his chair, sat, and sighed. He and Ethel smiled pitying smiles at each other.
“I’m not particularly interested in eating right now,” Cassian said.
“I’m not sure if I can either,” Ethel admitted. “I still feel...”
“I know,” Cassian said warmly. “Me too.”
All of this, it was overwhelming.
He sat back in his chair and hummed. Minutes passed while Cassian chewed on his fingernails, staring off into nothingness as his thoughts meandered from one subject to the next. Ethel fiddled with her necklace some more. Listening to it, Cassian found himself smiling a little, the familiar irritation he typically felt from hearing the sound strangely absent.
“Cassian?” Ethel finally asked. Cassian looked up. “I think I have an idea for something that we can do. Something to pass the time, maybe, until our stomachs settle enough for us to eat.” Cassian crooked an eyebrow, and Ethel’s lips curled into a small smile. “Do you still want to teach me how to play cards?”
Cassian huffed a half-laugh.
“Do you reallystill want to learn?”
“You promised that you’d show me how to play poker someday,” she said with a small shrug. “And if we won’t be getting married, then I can’t imagine that the two of us will be spending that much time together in the future.”
“But what will your soon-to-be husband think?” Cassian teased. “I played with him once, Ethel. He’s terrible.”
Ethel laughed lightly, and she paused to think. After a moment, her smile broadened, and there was a hint of mischievousness in her eyes. Cassian fought back a laugh before she even voiced her thoughts, knowing instinctively that he’d like her answer, whatever it was.
“I think that it might be rather fun to surprise him with it, then, especially if there’s a chance that I mightnotbe terrible,” she said.
Cassian smiled a wicked smile of his own.
