“Probably,” he sighs, taking my hand. His voice suddenly becomes serious. “You didn’t wait for me to come back.”
A cackle erupts from my chest, surprising us both. I fall back in the snow, unable to control my fit of laughter. “Wait for you?” I sputter between gasps. “That’sallI’ve done, Cyrus, for two years! Was I supposed to wait down there for another two?”
“I know, Jace.” His voice is soft again, cracking with pain. He hangs his head, letting it fall into his palms, and sighs. “Trust me. I wish I could have done so many things differently. I should have…”
“Shhhh. I know, I know,” I soothe, sitting up and moving to his side. I cradle his face in my hands, forcing his eyes to drift up to meet mine. The flecks of green in them sparkle against the striking contrast of deep brown. My anger fades, giving way to crushing desire. “Cyrus,” I whisper before pressing my lips to his.
His embrace envelopes me, deepening our kiss. Our tongues press against each other, searching for more, finding each other again after all this time. Cyrus sucks my bottom lip between his teeth, pulling a moan from me. His hands run up my sides untilthey’re cupping my breasts. My head spins, convincing me at any moment I’ll wake up from this dream, and Cyrus will be gone once again. My body relaxes, giving in to him even if he’s only a figment of my imagination.
We fall to the ground, bodies curling around one another in the snow. I roll on top of him, stripping open his flannel to reveal his bare chest. My hands roam his torso, the hardened muscle quivering beneath my palms. His cock presses against my thigh, already hard, bringing back memories of our bodies being inseparable. It’s been too long; my core aches with anticipation. I rock my hips into his, building friction. Cyrus fumbles with his jeans, pulling them down to expose his length. His cock falls against his stomach, and I reach for it, wrapping my hand around him.
My body ignites, molten desire spilling from my core and pulsing through my bloodstream. His hands grip my shaking thighs, tugging me forward for another kiss. I raise my hips, allowing him to pull the shreds of my tattered pants away. Gently, I ease myself back down, lining his cock up with my entrance, and the tip slips inside me. Cyrus tilts his back, letting out a soft moan. I lower myself inch by inch, savoring the way he fills me. Cyrus groans, pressing his fingers harder into my flesh. He thrusts his hips, spreading my legs farther apart as I gasp, arching my back as my inner walls stretch to accommodate him. The roll of our bodies synchronizes, my breasts bouncing underneath what’s left of my shirt. His hands reach for them, caressing my beaded nipples with his thumbs.
Cyrus pulls me closer, hungrily pressing his mouth to mine. I part my lips, drinking him down like he can extinguish the flames of grief burning endlessly inside me. My thighs shake on either side of his, taking him deeper, like he can fill the missing pieces I’ve lost in the years spent searching for him.
“I fucking love you, Jace,” he moans into my mouth. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Those words, the ones I’ve waited a lifetime to hear, crash into me. My ears ring, stars exploding in my vision, as we continue to move our bodies as one.
“I love you too,” I cry, pressing my face into his neck and inhaling the smoky clove scent I’ve missed so much.
27
CYRUS
Snow drifts down like a veil, shielding us from the rest of the world. It’s taken me so long to say the words I know she’s been yearning to hear—words I wasn’t sure I was capable of. I don’t know if they registered when I said them down in the basement, but I’m going to make sure she knows how I feel from now on. Those three little words never held much meaning from the people who have said them to me in the past, always empty and forced. Not with her, though, something I should have realized much sooner.
Jace moans into my neck, her teal hair falling across my shoulder. Her inner walls pulse, gripping me and pulling me further inside her with every thrust. She bucks her hips, desperate for more, and I greedily oblige, slipping a hand between us. I roll my thumb over her clit, moving it in rhythmic circles until her eyes roll back. I can’t take my eyes off her, entranced by the grace of her body’s movements, the soft bouncing of her breasts. Jace’s cries echo through the quiet woods, growing louder until she screams in ecstasy. “Cyrus!”
The sound of my name from her lips has my release chasing hers. I spill into her with one, final thrust, the aftershocks of her release still reverberating around my cock. She collapses ontomy chest, me still inside her. With gentle hands, she rubs my arms, like she’s memorizing the feel of my body. “I’ve missed you,” she whispers.
“I’ve missed you too,” I reply, moving from the ground to pepper her shoulder with kisses. I cradle her to me, afraid to let go after I let her slip from my fingers so many times before. “I’ve missedus.”
Jace smiles, lifting to let my cock slip from her. She rolls to my side, rubbing her hand over my chest. Her hooded eyes find mine, her fingers trailing down my torso. When she reaches the pool of our shared release, still wet on my skin, her fingers swirl in it. Gripping my cock, she strokes it back to life until it’s throbbing again in her hand. Each movement makes little zaps of electricity surge from my center, and I moan for her, bucking my hips as she quickens her pace. She gives me a devious grin before lowering her head, winding her tongue down my stomach to the base of my cock. The flat of her tongue follows her hand up my length until she reaches the tip, circling it at a teasingly slow pace. Her lips wrap around me, pulling me into her mouth. The tingling sensation coiling at the base of my spine detonates, spreading through my body.
I grip the back of her head, threading my fingers through her hair. She moans at my touch, taking me deeper into her throat. With eyes gazing up at me, she takes in the way my body writhes with pleasure. I’ve missedthislook—the way she looks at me like she knows I’ve burned this memory into my brain. Her lips meet the base of my cock, her tongue slipping out to run along the top of my balls. Instantly, my toes curl and my head falls back. “Oh,fuck,” I moan, fisting her hair as I come again.
Jace smiles, her mouth tightening around my still-pulsing cock. She slowly draws me from her mouth, licking her lips. I cup her face, pulling her up to kiss her, but her body tenses. The hungry desire in her eyes fades to apprehension.
“What happens now?” Jace asks, her voice trembling. “To us?”
My heart sinks, knowing I don’t have an answer. As much life as she’s given back to me, I’m still dead. There’s still a monster out there somewhere, one in the woods and one at my old house, both of them searching for her. I shake my head; every scenario seems devoid of hope. “I…I don’t know.”
“Come back home with me,” she says, reaching to squeeze my hand. “Stay with me. Have you tried to go back to the city?”
“I don’t think it will work,” I sigh, trying to hide the guilt swallowing me whole. “I need to explain...”
“We cantry,” Jace pleads, holding me in her gaze. Her eyes are wide, intense with determination. I’m a self-fulfilling prophecy, because once again, I’ve locked her into a hopeless future. “Please.”
“Jace…” She cuts me off, shoving me back to stand and snatching my flannel to wrap around her.
“Just say you don’t want to and be done with it, Cyrus!” she shouts, already storming away.
“Jace, wait!” I call, racing after her. I’m only a few seconds behind, but she’s already gone. “Shit.”
The wind picks up, howling through the barren trees. The snow forms a barrier between us, making it difficult to see where she went. There’s only one place she would go: back to her parents’ place. My chest tightens, knowing she’ll only find more grief there. Even if she doesn’t want me to be near her right now, I have to follow her. For once, I need to be there when she needs to falls apart, not after she’s come undone.
The shadow of a figure appears in the distance, and my heart leaps seeing it standing there between the trees.Please wait, I plead silently. Maybe she’s realized what I couldn’t find the words for moments ago. I run toward her, blinded by the falling snow.
