She’s quiet, sadness marring her face, and it kills me knowing I put it there. There’s something she wants to say. I can see it lingering, but she isn’t saying whatever she’s thinking.
“What is it, Killer? If there’s any chance of fixing things with all of us, it’s going to require honesty. I promise, you can’t say anything worse than what I’ve said to myself.”
Heather takes a shaky breath and releases it slowly.
“I’m not calling you a liar. I just don’t understand this complete change in you overnight. You hated me, and now you don’t? I guess I don’t get it. What changed for you?”
Pressing my hand to her cheek, I speak my honest truth as the memories assault me and nearly steal my breath.
“I watched you die.”
She rolls her eyes at me and says, “Obviously, I’m not dead.”
I rub my thumb over her flesh, enjoying the contrast of her soft skin against my calloused fingers.
“I know that now, but I didn’t then. As far as I was concerned, you were dead. Every day I came back and put a rose there. I talked to you like a crazy person. The pain of never seeing you again was excruciating, and that's when I knew the truth.”
Heather places her small hand over mine.
“What truth?”
I swallow hard as my mind spins out of control. Do I tell her? Is it only going to make things worse between us? I’m not the man who overthinks things, but right now I am. She asked me before if I was desperate, and I am. I’m so fucking desperate to make things right, and it’s terrifying.
“Killian.”
Her voice comes out a mixture of scolding and begging for answers I don’t know if I should give.
“You promised honesty. You asked for mine. It’s only fair I should get the same from you in return.”
Leaning forward, I press a gentle kiss to her forehead before lifting my head and staring into her blue eyes, the color of the most beautiful ocean.
“I’m in love with you, Killer. I couldn’t accept it before because you fucking terrify me. Maybe that’s why I decided you were the enemy. I’m so fucking sorry for everything.”
Her eyes widen as she speaks low.
“Say that first part again.”
My heart is pounding in my chest as I repeat my words to her.
“I’m in love with you, Heather. So fucking in love with you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
THE HEATHEN
Whatever I thought he might say, that was not it. The gasp that escapes from me is loud as I attempt to process his words. “Killian, that’s not love. Maybe you’re confused, but the things you said to me, the things you did to me—that’s not love.”
He places his hands on my face and stares into my eyes as if he’s trying to make me believe his words.
“I know, baby. Fuck. I know. I’m going to do better—so much better. I swear on my life I will never betray you again. If they come for you, they will have to kill me to get to you.”
He swallows hard before continuing, guilt etched in his face, pain visceral as he speaks low, almost like the words are hard to speak because of the shame behind them.
“I used your past against you—the abuse you fucking endured. Never again, baby. I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll never be able to say it enough. I’m not just a dick, but a monster.”
Tears roll down his cheeks, and I know for Killian, being this vulnerable is difficult for him. The man before me has always been a pillar of strength. It’s not just the way he behaves, but his identity. Right now—he’s broken—like me.
“I’ve done terrible things in my life, but what I did to you, to all of you, those are the only regrets I have.”
