Heather throws her arms around my neck and presses her face against my chest.
“I don’t want you to die, Killian. I never wanted that. Why did you do this?”
Running my fingers through her hair, I lean down and inhale her scent.
“I’m responsible for you not only getting shot but ending up in St. Dymphna's, so it had to be me that got you out. Even if I die, I have to make this right. This is me taking responsibility for my actions.”
Heather tilts her head back and meets my gaze with her own teary one.
“It’s your fault you made that call without even consulting Carter and Knox. It’s not entirely your fault that the police came for me. I kill people. I’m a serial killer, of course they arrestedme. My family would have come for me, anyway. The only thing you’re responsible for is making that call. They would’ve gotten me, eventually. I’m glad I’m not in there, but you put too much on the line. If you die, how can I live with that?”
I drag my tongue through the tears on her cheek.
“If I die, it will be worth it. Don’t argue—I’ll spank your pretty ass.”
“Dick.”
Feigning shock, I grab her and throw her down on the bed as she giggles while squirming underneath me.
“What did you call me?”
Her cheeks flush pink as she continues laughing. Her voice is angelic, causing a thrill to race down my spine.
“Dick.”
Placing my palm to her cheek, I hope she believes me when I tell her how fucking sorry I am.
“You’re right, Killer. I was a complete dick to you, but I swear I’m going to do better with you. I’m never going to be a nice guy with other people, but I want to be good to you.”
Her lips pull up into a sassy little smirk.
“No more mean words then? Now I get Killian, version 2.0?”
I place my hand around her throat without squeezing.
“Not exactly, Killer. If I remember correctly, you liked it when I called you my pretty little whore.”
She whimpers softly, confirming I’m right.
“And you like this too, don’t you, baby? You like it when I’m rough with you. I’m done denying that I want you—can you admit that you loved everything I did to you—said to you?”
Her eyes well with tears, so I remove my hands from her and give her a minute.
“Not everything, Killian. I don’t enjoy being called trash or the nasty remarks about my-“
Through a clenched jaw, Heather hisses, “Father.”
Sliding my hands under her back, I pull her into my arms and hold her as I sit back on the bed.
“I know. I’m so sorry. You deserve so much better than I gave you. I swear to you, baby, those things will never happen again.”
She sits up on the bed, and her expression is drop-dead serious.
“If you ever hurt Carter like that again, you're dead to me. I believe you did what you did out of some very misguided way of protecting him, but if it ever happens again—I’ll never speak to you again, and I sure as hell won’t allow you to touch me.”
I swallow hard with a nod, her words hitting me square in the chest. If she had been the one to hurt Carter, I would have reacted far worse than she has. I’ve always been his protector, but now the tables have turned and it’s her protecting him—from his own brother. It’s painful realizing I not only failed at protecting him, but I’m the one who hurt him. I did the one thing I always promised I’d keep him safe from. I don’t know if any of them will ever forgive me, but I know for sure I’ll never forgive myself.
“I understand, and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on things and myself. I swear to you, I will never risk losing any of you again. If I do, I’ll hand you the gun, and you can take my life because I’d rather die than hurt any of you again.”
