“Nice greeting.” Amanda probably meant the words to be snarky, but they came out more sad, almost pathetic, and she grimaced. She looked as beautiful as always, with her auburn hair in some kind of complicated twist at the back of her head, still dressed in a suit and dress boots, which indicated she must’ve come right from her office. A glance behind her revealed her car parked on the street, and Sawyer found it both amusing and irritating that she hadn’t noticed it. Again.
“No, seriously. What are you doing here?” And to her surprise, Amanda’s eyes welled up.
“I, um…” Amanda glanced down at her feet, at her very expensive boots. When she raised her gaze again, she sighed, as if the words were being forced out of her. “I miss you.”
“You missme?”
Amanda nodded.
“Don’t you mean you miss Cindy? Or what about Christine? You must miss her.”
“No.” Amanda shook her head and looked off to her right. There was a beat of silence. Very weird, very uncomfortable silence.
“I’m not sure what you want me to say here, Amanda.” And she wasn’t. This was, admittedly, a state she’d never seen Amanda in—uncertain, emotional, pleading. She was normally none of those things. Ever. So, seeing her standing on her porch this way was a little unnerving.
“Can I come in at least?” Amanda used the little half grin that had always worked on Sawyer, had always gotten Sawyer to bend. Shockingly, it had zero effect on her now.
“I’m actually on my way out,” Sawyer said, using an old trick she’d read about once that included putting on your coat before answering the door. If it was somebody you were happy to see, sayyou were just getting home and invite them in. If it was somebody you didn’t want to see, tell them you were on your way out. It didn’t matter that Amanda had been sitting in her car and surely saw that Sawyer had just come home. She pulled on the lapel of her wool coat, indicating to Amanda that she was leaving. She grabbed her purse, stepped out onto the porch, forcing Amanda to take a couple steps back, and locked the door behind her, committing to the role.
“Oh.” It was all Amanda said for a moment as they stood on the porch looking at each other. “Okay. I just…” She sighed and gazed over Sawyer’s shoulder for a moment, and Sawyer started to realize that Amanda was out of her element. It was odd, so strange to watch, and she was reminded of a video she’d seen online recently of dairy cows that had been cooped up in tiny pens their entire lives now released into fields of grass. Yes, they’d quickly ended up frolicking and jumping and celebrating their freedom, but those first few moments, they were simply…confused. Like Amanda seemed now. “So, Christine left me.”
And there it was.
Her choice of words was intentional. Sawyer recognized that immediately and was then surprised by that fact. Amanda didn’t say “I left Christine” or “Things between Christine and me are over.” She specifically said “Christine left me,” clearly going for the sympathy vote.
And Sawyer saw it. Instantly.
Now,thatwas progress.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” A simple, kind phrase.
“No, I’m sorry,” Amanda said, and reached out to lay a hand on Sawyer’s arm. “I’m sorry for everything. I was such a fool.”
In the past, Sawyer’s response to that would’ve been to make Amanda feel better by saying something like “No. No, you weren’t. You were following your heart/doing what you thought was best/whatever placating line she could come up with” that would defuse the situation and keep things calm. Now? She simply stood quietly. Predictably, Amanda felt the need to fill the silence.
“Okay, okay. I was a bitch. Is that better?”
God, all of her reading had done wonders, because Sawyer knew that frustrated anger was next on the list, and Amanda didn’t disappoint. She remained silent and let Amanda bluster. Her hand was back, reaching for Sawyer’s arm, giving it a squeeze.
“I’ve changed,” Amanda said quietly. “Things can be different, you know. I’ve learned my lesson, and I miss you. You belong with me. Don’t you want to come home?”
“I am home.” Sawyer said it very matter-of-factly. Because itwasa matter of fact. She indicated the door behind her with a tilt of her head. “I’ve lived here for nearly four months now, and I’ve never felt more settled. I am home.”
“In a duplex?” Amanda’s tone was condescending, the words out before she could polish them a little better. “Okay, look. I know things were hard for you,Iwas hard on you.”
Sawyer snorted before she could catch it.
Amanda pressed her lips together in a thin line of disapproval, an expression Sawyer knew all too well. “Like I said, I’ve changed.”
“Yeah? How?”
Amanda blinked in obvious surprise, clearly not expecting the question. “Oh. Um. Well, I listen better, for one.”
“No, you don’t.”
Again, Amanda blinked in surprise.
“I’ve blocked you everywhere, on social media, on my phone, I never gave you my new address, yet this is the third time you’ve shown up on my doorstep uninvited.”
