“Let’s go.” Ford takes a gentle hold of my upper arm and leads me toward the back of the casino, through a crowd of tourists and regulars.
The chime of slot machines and the clink of chips fade away, and a different din hits my ears. Knives clack like woodpeckers as the prep cooks chop mountains of vegetables, and fat cuts of steak sizzle as the line cooks throw one after another onto the flaming grills.
“Where we going?” I mumble around the straw. I’m not taking it out of my mouth again after all the trouble I went through. “Not somewhere quiet, I hope. I need to be around a bunch of humans.”
Something niggles at the back of my mind. I shouldn’t be telling Ford this. Beings of the Shingae like me must abide by its rules even when we’re hiding from it. First, we can’t expose the world of gods. Second, we must protect the magic. Hence, I shouldn’t be explaining why I need to mingle in a crowd of humans to hide my magic ... to a human. But the third and most important rule inconveniently flashes past my alcohol-dulled mind.
Keep the Amheuk at bay.
“Oopsy daisy.” I drink more margarita to suppress unwanted memories from surfacing. “Pretend you didn’t hear that last part.”
“Oopsy daisy?” He pinches the bridge of his nose, reminding me of a stern seonnam I don’t want to think about. I quickly take another sip of my adult slushy, and Ford mutters, “Christ on a cracker.”
He takes me through the kitchen and out the back door. Inside the casinos, time seems suspended at the peak of night, but a new day is awakening outside. Fortunately, the faint wash of dawn hasn’t reached the dim alleyway yet.Good.I’m not ready to face the light of day.
I crinkle my nose. The stench of the overflowing trash bins competes with my margarita for the title of the most disgusting thing in the alley. I took myself out of the running to keep things fair.
“What happened to you, Sunny?” Ford gingerly props me up against the building. “Where’s Ethan?”
I spin away from Ford in the nick of time and hurl rainbow-colored vomit like a fucking unicorn.
Where’s Ethan?
Somewhere I can’t be ... In a realm I’ve sentenced to a fate worse than death by destroying its one defense against the Amheuk.I don’t want to remember.A scream builds in my chest, but it doesn’t get a chance to escape as I throw up some more.
Ford gathers my hair into a fist and rests his warm, meaty hand on my back. I shove him away and stumble back from him. His gentle touch is too much to handle. The Yeoiju makes a keening, worried noise inside me.The Yeoiju?I haven’t heard its voice in days.
For a fleeting moment, I’m deeply relieved not to be completely alone. But then, I shove away the Yeoiju, too—deep down until I can’t hear it anymore—because I don’t deserve its solace.
“Oh goody. I didn’t drop my marg.” I take a sip of the melted green liquid and gargle my mouth with it. Then I chug down the remainder. “I need a refill.”
Ford grabs a hold of my shoulder when I turn to walk away. “What’s going on, Sunny?”
I spin on him, dislodging his hand, and snarl, “It’s none of your business.”
“Then why are you here?” He arches a thick red eyebrow, unfazed by my antagonism. “Of all the casino bars in Vegas, why did you walk into mine?”
Because I’m scared. Because I needed to see a friendly face. Because I don’t really want to be alone.
“Don’t flatter yourself.” I narrow my eyes at him. “I was too drunk to see where I was going.”
“Yeah, right.” Ford snorts. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten? Food, not that abomination.”
I recall a crowded PC bang in a Korean fishing village, where I ate my last meal. And just like that, the memories come crashing back.Oh gods. No.The tyrant tricking me into a blood oath to leave the Kingdom of Mountains and to never return. Leaving Ethan without saying goodbye. Tracking down Daeseong in Santorini. Battling the darkmudangat the caldera. Running toward the kid ...
Draco.
The tears I’ve kept at bay rush out of me in torrents. They were so brave, so strong.I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you.But I avenged them. Daeseong died at my sword like he deserved.
I stabbed him in his black heart, then I bewitched him to force the truth out of him. I needed him to admit that I am not his daughter. With my darkest power, I robbed him of his free will—violated him in the worst possible way—only to find out that hewastelling the truth.
I am the darkmudang’s daughter. And I killed him. My own father.
Monster. Abomination.
Gripping my head in both hands, I scream until my stomach clenches tightly enough to curve my back. I glance at Ford through my tears.Help me.My eyes plead with him to make it stop hurting, even though he can’t.No one can.
I broke my promise to my mother and used the vilest magic anyone could use on another being. I deserve to suffer. Ford steps toward me with his hand outstretched.
