“I’m fine,” I mutter sullenly. I don’t know if I’m more mortified that he saw me crying like a baby or heard me screaming like a little girl. Maybe I’ll get lucky, and he’ll still die. I sigh. There’s no time for wishful thinking. “It looks like you’re going to live.”
“Thanks to you.” He struggles to sit up and winces, pressing his hand against his side.
“Hey.” I rush over and help him, gripping his biceps with both hands. “Take it easy.”
He glances at the sky outside. “We need to leave.”
“You’re not well enough,” I protest, even though I’m anxious to find Ethan.
“I’m not that easy to kill,” he says. I drop his arm as soon as I’m relatively certain he won’t topple over.
“Well, aren’t you lucky?” I croon, remembering why I don’t like the Suhoshin. They are a bunch of arrogant, privileged bastards who have been made nearly immortal by the gods—the fucking Blessed. Unfortunately, this one saved my life, and I need his help. With an annoyed grunt, I walk over to the spring and bring back water cupped in my hands. “Drink.”
Jihun wraps his big palm under my hands and drinks the water, his stubble tickling my fingers. I withdraw my hands the minute he leans back. I return to the spring to put some space between us and drink until my stomach feels sloshy. That should kill the asshole butterflies in there.
I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Is the frightened eighteen-year-old inside me in awe of his strength? Maybe it’s my current butt-scared self who admires his stoic fearlessness. Who the hell knows? But I can’t deny there is something solid and steadfast about the suhoshin that makes me want to lean on him.
Loneliness stabs at me with a suddenness that makes me gasp.Where are you, Ethan?Damn it, I’m missing the lying bastard again. Iwant him to be safe—because I’m a decent person—but I’d be a total loser to miss someone who deceived me.
I glance back to find Jihun watching me. He has some color in his face and seems to be improving exponentially. Good. Now he can answer some of my questions. I’m not stalling to let him rest longer.
“If I didn’t kill all those people”—I hug my arms around my stomach—“then am Inotwanted by the Suhoshin?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “You are not a fugitive of the order.”
But even if the villagers lived, I killed Daeseong and his followers. What kind of power lies in me that I can wreak such destruction? How do I know it’s not evil? How do I knowI’mnot evil? All these years, I haven’t been running from the Shingae. I’ve been running from that question. And I still don’t have an answer. Alas, the soul-searching has to wait.
“Then why have you been following us?” I ask.
“I’m not at liberty to share that information,” he says with stiff formality, and the back of my skull tingles with a hunch.
“Were you following me?” I narrow my eyes. “Or were you following Ethan?”
The suhoshin holds my gaze with no intention of responding. His expression says he can do this all day, but he already gave everything away with his silence.
“What do you know about Ethan?” I don’t expect him to answer, but I still want to throttle him when he presses his lips together. “Whoishe?”
“I need to take you to the realm.” He pushes to a stand with barely a cringe.
“The realm?” My brows furrow in confusion. Did he just change the subject on me? It worked, though. “What realm?”
“I can’t guard him while I’m protecting you.” He walks to the middle of the cave and stoops down to pick up his long sword. He flicks his wrist, and it disappears.
It reminds me of how the axes appeared in Ethan’s hands—how sure footed he’d been in the face of the yellow assassin’s horrifying magic. I press my hands against the sick lurch in my stomach. Later. I’ll figure all that out later.
Jihun continues, “I need to take you someplace safe.”
“I need your protection like I need to be audited by the IRS.” In a single motion, I push off the ground and get in his face. “And I sure as hell am not goingsomeplace safewith you.”
“Audited by the IRS?” He cocks his head to the side, his brows furrowing.
“You don’t know ...” Of course he doesn’t know. He’s a suhoshin. He has bigger villains to contend with than the IRS. Wait. How does he even speak English so well? I click my tongue. “Never mind. You’re taking me to Ethan.Now.”
“Enough.” The suhoshin waves a graceful hand through the air. I already know before I try to move. He’s bound my arms and legs. “We are leaving.”
“Cocksucker.” I strain against the invisible bonds but only manage to knock myself off balance. Jihun catches me before I crash to the ground, his big hands nearly spanning my entire waist as he holds me steady.
“My apologies ... but time is of the essence.” He sounds sincere, but I don’t care.
