The suhoshin manages to arch a haughty eyebrow and says, “You told me to be still.”
His voice is softer than a whisper, but he nails the arrogance. I smirk at him. “What a good boy you are.”
I glance around the cave, looking for something to pound the herb with. Jihun coughs, choking on blood.Shit.There’s no time to be timid. I wash the seungmacho in the spring and stuff a handful in my mouth. I chew it into a pulp, grimacing at the swampy bitterness, then hold it against his lips.
“Eat,” I say gruffly. “There’s no time for me to look for a mortar and pestle. I know it’s gross, but it’s better than dying.”
With another arch of his brow, Jihun leans forward and eats the herb off my hand. My face heats when his lips brush my palm, but I hold my hand still until he takes every bit of the seungmacho. Once he lies back down, I wash the rest of the herb and masticate it. I lift his shirt and spread the pulp on his punctured side so the antidote penetrates through the open wound. I finish quickly and pull his shirt down past his sculpted abs.Sculpted?How can I notice his six-pack at a time like this?
When I look up at his face, I find him staring at me. I hope my blush isn’t noticeable in the glow of our makeshift light. I scowl for good measure and mutter, “What?”
“Thank you,” he says.
“You took a bullet for me—so to speak.” I shrug, embarrassed. I’m still no good at peopling. I don’t know if I’ll ever be. “I wasn’t going to let you just ... die.”
“Huh.” He tilts his head to get a better look at me. I wish he’d close his eyes again. “Gumihos aren’t exactly known for their loyalty.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I snap. Maybe I should’ve let the arrogant bastard die.
“That’s not what I ... I didn’t ... I meant no offense.” His words trip over each other. He’s blushing.Shit.If I can see him blushing, that means he saw me turn into a beet a minute ago. “You’re just not what I expected.”
My sanity returns to me in a rush. This male is a suhoshin. There’s a reason I was running from his kind. It’s my turn to arch an eyebrow, but I can’t match his mastery. Neither can I keep the slight tremor out of my voice. “You don’t think the other mass murderers would’ve fed you disgusting chewed-up leaves?”
His stoic expression doesn’t change, but his voice gentles when he says, “You aren’t a mass murderer.”
I don’t know what he means. Does he not know about what I did? I stay silent, afraid of giving something away.
“Yes, you killed Daeseong and his followersin self-defense.” The intensity of his gaze holds me captive, as though willing me to believe what he’s saying. “But you didn’t kill any of the villagers.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. My lungs are broken. I can’t breathe. What is he saying? My blood pounds too loudly in my ears. I don’t know what he’ssaying.
“Mihwa?”
“Don’t call me that,” I whisper. “My name is Sunny. I haven’t been Mihwa in over a century.”
“Why can’t you be both?” he says softly, as though he understands my turmoil. But he knows nothing about me.
“Because I ... can’t.” I keep my eyes closed. I concentrate on not hyperventilating.
“Sunny.” He reaches out and covers my hand with his. “The villagers lived. Daeseong and his followers died because their humanity was too far gone. The rest of the people woke up in the morning withno memory of the night before and went back to living their lives. You didn’t hurt them.”
A sob escapes me. I clamp a hand over my mouth, but I can’t stop sobbing. I can’t stop the hot tears from spilling down my face. I didn’t ... The hope that blossoms is terrifying. I didn’t kill those people?
I stop fighting. I let go. I cry and wail as though I will never stop.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I’m on the ground, curled up in a fetal position. The night has deepened, but the moon drenches the cave in its silvery light. I’m hollowed out. I open my swollen eyes, blinking as though waking up from a dream. I take a shuddering breath, my chest heaving from the storm of tears.
Ethan.I scramble upright. He’s gone. Devastation slams into me before I remember his lies ... his betrayal. I dig the heels of my hands against my eyelids, then take a deep breath. He’s going to explain. Once I find him, he’ll explaineverything. And Iwillfind him. That’s all I can focus on right now.
Jihun can help me find Ethan. The Suhoshin are the best trackers in all the worlds.Jihun.I spin to my side to find him lying next to me, quiet and still. I can barely see his shadowy outline in the moonlight. My light orb must’ve gone out when I ... fell apart. I throw another one into the air to get a better look at him.
A relieved sigh whooshes out of me when I see his chest rising and falling. He didn’t die. He’s just sleeping. I need him alive to help me find Ethan. I lean in close to study his face. It’s hard to make out his complexion in the silvery light, but the purple tint under his eyes and on his lips seems to have faded. Thank gods.
“Ahh!” I scuttle back when his eyes open.
The corners of his mouth twitch in a hint of a smile that disappears almost immediately. “Are you okay?”
