“Don’t even mention the agreements you signed, Mars. Don’t believe I am like all of those other people I met tonight who only think about money.” She spit the words out, crossing her arms as if holding herself together.
“Clarissa, I’m challenging him because there must be justice. It is for my father,” he tried to explain again, willing her to understand. “For your mother.”
“There willneverbe justice, Mars.Ever. What happened to my mother, what happened to your father was tragic, but also was a result of decisionstheymade. My mother’s heart was broken but there were people who could have helped her. The matrons were willing. Your father didn’t have to challenge a man. And I willnotbe an excuse for you tomurdersomeone. I am not the type of woman your mother is.”
“If it is any consolation, she is not pleased with the duel either—”
“Then why do it?Why?”
“It is abouthonor, Clarissa. I can’t expect you to understand—”
“Because I amfemale? I shouldn’t worry my head over such things? You are afool, Lawrence Eddington. A fool. And you should have married a silly-headed woman who would believe your excuses. I’m too intelligent to be her.” She turned and started stuffing items into her valise as if she could not wait to escape him. “I’m a fighter, Mars.”
She certainly wasn’t going to listen to reason. She was likeallthe others, willing to let Dervil do as he pleased without penalty.
He turned on his heel, stormed to the library, and kicked open the door. The room was dark. He was tempted to stand there and let the darkness envelop him, except dutiful Ellis came running with a candle to light the desk lamp.
“Here you are, my lord. This is better for reading.”
“Thank you, Ellis.”
“You are welcome, my lord.”
“And you are dismissed for the evening. We won’t be needing you.” Mars didn’t worry about what the servants might overhear. They were loyal to him. Then again, the look Dalton had given him this evening might suggest otherwise.
“Yes, my lord.” Ellis bowed out. A few seconds later, Mars heard him open the door to the servants’ stairs. Their quarters were located two floors above.
Mars sat heavily in the chair at the desk. He didn’t like arguing with Clarissa.
He didn’t like having her so angry with him.
And, hedidn’texpect her to be his wife because of Dora. Well, it started off that way. He was honest enough to admit that... but he’d come to like having her by his side. He slept better when she was in his bed. Usually after a few romps in bed, he’d tire of his mistresses. But this was different. He couldn’t imagine himself ever tiring of Clarissa.
Mars opened the secretary drawer and pulled out paper. There was ink in the well. He took out a wooden pen and put a steel nib in it. Balfour had advised him to put his affairs in order. Most of them were. He’d seen to that with Lowton. Clarissa might despise him but she’d be a rich woman if Dervil killed him. And there were a few things he needed to tell her about his lawyers and the estate.
If he ended up in exile, she must know to trust his staff. They would guide her on what was best for Belvoir just as they had guided him.
He had lots of advice to give. However, when he put pen to paper, what he wrote was,Clarissa, I am sorry.
The statement startled him, and yet it was true. He was sorry that he was leaving her—
A sound at the door interrupted him. Ellis had put out the candles in the hall. All was darkness. The door was pushed further open and Clarissa was there.
Her expression was pinched, as if she hadbeen crying and the air around her was heavy with sadness.
He didn’t want to leave her.
Tears stung the back of his eyes. He wouldn’t cry. He never cried, not even when his father had died. Tears were weakness. Maybe he did have some of his mother in him. However, he’d chosen his course. The die had been cast.
Still, she was a vision of everything he wanted in his life.
She walked to him, her steps measured. He shifted to face her. She stopped.
“Please, Mars, don’t meet Dervil.Please.”
On those words, she reached to pull the lacing on the back of her dress. It fell into a graceful puddle at her feet. She was naked. The lamplight gave her skin a golden glow. And then she reached down and kissed him.
Chapter Eighteen
