And how could he love Clarissa? He hadn’t even thought about it. It had never been his intention. He wasn’t even certain he knew what love was... and yet the word was right there, shimmering in front of him.
“I need to go home now.”
“Yes, to write out your last instructions. Truly, Mars, this is a terrible idea.”
It was.
The rebellious idea ripped through him. He rejected it immediately. This was not the time for doubts. Or silliness like love.
“It’s happening, Balfour, and I need you.”
“I’ll be there. So will Thurlowe. I’ll contact him.”
“Thank you.” Mars took a step on the road and then stopped. “Be present for Clarissa. Protect her.”
“Someone must. You aren’t.” On that note, Balfour shut the door.
Mars stood a moment, letting his friend’s criticism sink in. Damn.
He made his way home. Dalton opened the door. “Is my wife here?” He handed his hat to the butler.
“Yes, my lord,” was the dutiful reply, although Dalton didn’t meet his eye. Could the servants already know about the duel? It was no secret that they all approved of Clarissa. Even Nelson had been boldly candid enough to let Mars know that she was a better wife than he deserved.
Mars took the steps two at a time. Wall sconces lit the hallway. A footman, Ellis, sat at his post at the far end of the hall in case the family needed him. On the other end of the hall, the door to the bedroom was slightly ajar. The room within was well lit. He heard someone moving around and knew it was his wife. He slowed his pace, his mind scrambling over what he was going to say to her.
Carefully, he leaned against the doorframeso he could see inside. Clarissa was packing, her hair loose around her shoulders as if she’d removed the pins and then decided to act. She had her shabby little valise out on the bed and was putting her few possessions in them. She was planning to leave him? Tonight?
He pushed open the door. “Are you going to return to Belvoir now? This moment? Why not stay until morning?”
She faced him, unsurprised as if she’d known he was there.
“Does it matter?” She began taking off the ring he had given.
He moved into action. “No, Clarissa.” He took her hand, preventing her from removing the ring. “Don’t do this.”
“I can’t stay here.”
“I went a bit wild when I saw him touch you.” He could admit that. It was good he was protective, right?
“He didn’t know my mother was pregnant when they parted. It broke him. It brokeme.” Her expression had softened but now turned angry. “What do you care? You came to London to challenge him and now you have.Done. Lord Marsden has his way again.”
“Clarissa,” he started without knowing what he wanted to say... because she was right.
“Clarissa,what?” she demanded. “Clarissa, how can you leave Dora? What of Dora, Clarissa? You can’t be selfish.”
That was what she was thinking? To leave Dora?
“I meannothingto you,” she said, answering herself.
“That is not true,” he said, meaning the words. He caught her hands, held them, just as she’d held his earlier.
“Would you have married me if Dora wasn’t involved?”
She made him sound shallow. “Clarissa—”
“No, because you didn’t like me,” she said, answering for him. “You said as much when you asked me to be her nurse. Oh, don’t look so stricken. I’ll stay with Dora at least until we learn if you are alive or not.”
“And then?”
