Both matrons had been involved in moving Clarissa in with Squire Nelson and his family becausetheyhad decided what was best for her. Even Mrs. Burnham had played a role.
Lord Marsden broke the silence that had fallen. “Your friends believe you should take a position in my employ.”
“They don’t know what is right for me.” Her throat was tight with resentment.
He moved into her line of sight, reaching for the chair adjacent to hers from the table. She had drawn hers out to make it easier to feed the baby. He now turned his so he sat directly in front of her. She could not avoid looking at him without appearing ridiculous. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees, a verymaleway to sit. No gentlewoman would have been allowed to be so casual. It also made him seem “earnest.”
Please, God, save her from earnest men.
“I know you mildly disapprove of me—”
“Mildly?”
Lord Marsden’s eyebrows rose. Perhaps ather tone? Perhaps no onedaredspeak to him that way?
He then conceded, “Noted.”
“As what?” she challenged. She was in no mood to be conciliatory. She’d had a hard two days of travel after disappointing months of working for the most miserly, mean-spirited, whiney woman in this whole country. And she hadn’t even touched on her anger at Mrs. Emsdale’s lecherous grandson.
“As, that you don’t like me,” he answered. “For that matter, I don’t like you either.”
“You’ve said that already. In front of the others no less. You don’t need to repeat yourself. Besides, I’ve been aware of your lack of respect for me for a long time.” She was proud she sounded calm, distant.
Still, his statement hurt. That was, if she allowed herself to be hurt. Being the village charity case, she’d learned long ago to maintain her composure when others spoke with little regard to her feelings.
And that was what it would be like for this sweet baby. Soon all would know the circumstances of Dora’s birth and whisper about her.
Although,Dora’sfather would protect her. She would grow up knowing him, and even who her mother was.
Clarissa was startled by the jab of jealousy she experienced.
“Then let us clear the air between us,” Lord Marsden suggested. “We are both adults. We can discuss our differences reasonably—”
She swallowed back the “ha” of doubt shewanted to throw in his face. He would have ignored it anyway. They were all going to pressure her into their way of thinking.Again.
“—because the truth is,” he continued, “the matrons are right—although you are the last person I would ever choose—you are the most suited for caring formydaughter. Look at her. I doubt if she was ever so peaceful even with her mother.”
Dora slept as if exhausted. Clarissa had seen this often with babies at the foundling home. They might not understand the uproar in their lives, but they knew when they were safe and could sleep deeply at last.
“She certainly wasn’t like that when she arrived,” he said. “I can hire another nurse, but that will take time and I need one immediately. I also need someone who can teach me what I should know.”
“Know about what, my lord?” she asked, so lost in the peaceful beauty of Dora’s sleeping, she barely gave him her attention.
“My daughter,” he repeated as if it should be obvious, except it wasn’t. Clarissa had never met a man who seemed interested in the details of caring for his child. Especially when it came to changing a clout. She had to give him a bit of credit... begrudgingly.
“So,” he continued, “in the interest of Dora’s well-being, let’s clear the air between us. What is it you don’t like about me?”
“Are you mad?” She couldn’t tell him what she truly thought about him.
“I don’t believe I am,” he said as if seriouslyconsidering her question. “I mean, not completely mad—yet. Is that what you don’t like about me? My madness?”
She narrowed her gaze at him. “You know what I meant. And, no, I will not tell you what I think.”
“Why not? You certainly haven’t held back your disapproval of me before.”
Yes, shehad. She had said several things, but not hertruethoughts. Just the general rash things that came to one’s mind when truly provoked, and he could provoke her.
She decided her best course was to ignore this invitation of his.
