“Don’t be,” he said. “It’s new for all of us.”
Rafael leaned in and said, “We’re all figuring this out on the fly. We’re allowed to be a little scared.”
Cody looked at Rafael with big, glassy eyes. Once again, he looked like a cute anime character, like Sailor Moon swooning over Tuxedo Mask. “I’m so happy you’re going to therapy, baby.”
Rafael turned bright red and whispered, “Shut up…”
He bumped his shoulder into Cody, and the two of them started chuckling. Witnessing it was the most wonderful feeling imaginable. I was thrilled for them, and their relationship gave me hope. I so desperately wanted to find something like that for myself. To have that person in life who just gets you must feel glorious.
Ross was a nice guy, but I knew we weren’t more than just a fling. He didn’t give me the ache that emerges when you love someone so much it almost hurts when you’re not together. I didn’t melt into his embrace, wishing I could stay there forever.
Only Theo does that for me. Maybe I’ll find someone who gives me that same feeling someday—someone who isn’t crazy about girls.
I leaned back on the booth and took a deep breath, my mind racing with the possibilities of a life free from fear.
Chapter 6
Theo (On the way to college)
Dad’s blue Subaru came to a stop in front of Asher’s apartment building, which was an eight-story eyesore on Main Street. The drab red brick had black stains from years of neglect, and bars covered the windows on the first and second floors. Asher lived there with his mom for his entire life, and he was finally getting a chance to escape.
The two of us got scholarships to play with Callahan University’s hockey team, the Bobcats. Cody and Rafael were also supposed to play for the Bobcats, but Montier College swooped in at the last moment and offered each of them massive athletic scholarships.
It was a bummer, but I was pumped for Callahan. It was a party school, yet it had a great hockey team and a reputation for upward mobility. It couldn’t be better.
College had always been the plan for me, but Asher had no idea what would happen to him after high school. He couldn’t afford college without a sizable scholarship and, fortunately, Callahan delivered. Not only did he get an athletic scholarship because he’s sick as fuck on the ice, but he got an academicscholarship and a Pell Grant as well.
Almost all of his college expenses were covered, but he still had to work two different restaurant jobs all summer to save up for a laptop and the $2,500 student contribution that the school wasn’t covering.
I told him just to chill out and borrow a Federal loan, but he was hellbent on not going into debt while in undergrad.
I was so fucking proud of him. He’d always worked the hardest, and it was finally paying off.
Asher emerged from the front entrance, his biceps flexing as he lugged the massive duffel bag to Dad’s car.
“Hi, sweetie! Do you need help with that?” Mom turned to me, then shrieked, “Get your ass out of the car and help your friend, you lazy bum!”
Jesus, she never stops riding my ass.I got out of the car to grab Asher’s duffel just as he huffed out a laugh and said, “I’ve got it, Mrs. Moretti, but thank you.”
I met Asher midway and whispered, “Just let me have it. I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t put this Goddamn bag in the trunk myself.”
Mom’s banshee-like voice rang out, “I heard that, you little shit!”
“Little? You mean big shit,” Dad added.
Asher put his arm around my shoulder and said, “I don’t call him Big Boy for nothing.”
What the fuck? Was it bash Theo day or something? I was about to go to college, and this was my send-off? “Will you all leave me alone? I didn’t do anything.”
Mom continued her beratement of me by screaming out of the front passenger’s window. “Precisely! Your friend is carrying a giant bag to our car, and you would have donenothinghad I not told you to. You’re better than that, Teodoro!”
I hated it when Mom used my proper name. She only used it when she was bitching at me. “I’m sorry,” I said through clenched teeth.
We barely had enough room for Asher’s bag, but Dad somehow repositioned everything so that it all fit perfectly. The man packed a trunk as if he were playing a game of Tetris.
Dad gave Asher a big bear hug and said, “Good to see you again, Red.”
Mom had exited the car and made her way over to Asher. “Look at you! On your way to college. We’re so proud of you, baby.” She gave Asher a big kiss on the cheek.
