Well, I was, at the very least, not the only one who liked dick. I had no idea how Cody and Rafael defined their sexuality, but I didn’t care. The relief that swelled in my chest nearly took my breath away. It felt so good to feel safe. It was as if a mask had fallen away, and what was revealed was a person burstingwith hope.
I mimed the zipping of my lips and smirked. “I have things to confess myself.” I gave them both a playful wink.
I could tell they didn’t quite understand what I meant, so I decided to lay it on thick and whispered, “Let’s beat these fuckers, then talk about the dicks we’re all sucking back home, shall we?”
Their eyes grew wide, and, to be honest, I was shocked I even said it. It was so out of character for me. I guess my intense joy over seeing them together ignited the courage I never knew I had.
* * *
We won the Fall Classic. It ended in a tie-breaking shootout with Rafael scoring the winning goal. The three of us played the best game of our lives because we were so relieved to have each other. It’s hard to hide everything, and nobody knew that better than I did.
When we got back home, the three of us decided to meet in a diner that Rafael liked in downtown New Rochelle to talk. I was getting my first taste of how small the gay world was because, when I showed Cody and Rafael a picture of Ross, Cody’s eyes grew to the size of flying saucers, and Rafael turned beet red.
My boyfriend had put the moves on Cody at Rowan’s party, and Rafael almost killed him.
Boyfriend? Was Ross my boyfriend? We were “hanging out,” but I didn’t know what that meant.
Regardless of our relationship status, it was very clear fromRafael’s face that there would be no double dating anytime soon.
Rafael spoke through clenched teeth. “If that fucker gets anywhere near—”
But Cody cut him off. “Oh, shut up, Rafael. It was nothing, and you know it. If he’s seeing Asher, then you’re going to be sweet as fucking pie, and that is final,” Cody replied.
I was getting a full dose of possessive Rafael and, I kid you not, it was pretty scary.
Rafael’s eyes widened, and Cody’s narrowed in response. The look on Cody’s face made Rafael deflate instantly. He released a strangled grunt and nodded, acquiescing to Cody’s demands. Cody patted him on the leg, like he was petting a dog, and then Rafael leaned his head against Cody’s shoulder and nuzzled into his neck.
Damn, Cody has him so fucking whipped. He needs to teach me his ways.
“He’ll be fine,” Cody added. “You should bring him around! We can all hang out.”
Yeah, that wasn’t happening, but I just smiled and nodded. I wasn’t about to let Ross go anywhere near Rafael, who still looked like he wanted to rip Ross’s heart out of his chest and devour it like a wild animal.
“Are you going to tell anyone?” Cody asked me.
A cold shiver traveled down my back. The thought of coming out was still too much for me. Maybe in college, but I couldn’t now. My home life was a wreck, and I didn’t want to lose Theo.
It hit me like a ton of bricks that the thought of Theo finding out was more terrifying than anything.
How would he react? Theo’s a big cinnamon roll, but he’s also the biggest man-whore I’ve ever known. Would his one-track mind be able to comprehend the idea that I wasn’t into his favorite thing in the world: pussy? Would it be awkward?
No, I couldn’t let him find out. “I wasn’t planning on it. Please don’t tell Theo,” I begged.
“We won’t say anything,” Rafael replied. “We’re not exactly being very loud about it either.”
Cody nodded. “Yeah, it’s not the gay thing we’re worried about, but the stepbrother thing might freak some people out. We’re so close to graduating, anyway. Why put up with weird high school bullshit when we’re about to go to college, right?”
“We plan to go to college together and tell people we’re dating, but maybe omit the stepbrothers part,” Rafael added.
I hadn’t even considered the stepbrother aspect. It was a double scandal for them. It wasn’t like New Rochelle was a particularly conservative town, unlike other places in the United States, but people love some good gossip no matter where they live. I’m sure simple-minded parents and peers alike would have a field day with the hot goss of stepbrothers dating each other.
“Yeah, I don’t want to deal with juvenile high school crap either,” I said. “Which is why I appreciate you keeping this between us.”
Cody smiled and reached out to hold my hand. “We’ll help each other.”
His touch sent a wave of heat soaring up my arm, welling in my chest. It was new to do something like this out in the open. My eyes scanned the area, hoping nobody noticed.
Cody saw and drew his hand away. Shame consumed me as I mourned the loss of his comforting touch. I felt like such a coward. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
