One of the reasons I loved hockey so much was that I was absolutely addicted to violence. Hockey combined my two great loves: ice skating and beating the shit out of people. Overpowering someone like that made me feel high. The more challenging, the better. I didn’t expect Cody to stand up to me. He moved fast. If we hadn’t been trapped in a car, I could have had a tough battle on my hands. However, my limbs were longer, and I used the space to my advantage. Fuck, I loved our little skirmish and wanted more of it. Maybe I could challenge him to play street hockey. Pulverizing Cody was definitely going to be a permanent menu item.
I rolled to my side and buried my head under a pillow when Hank entered my room.
“You all right, Rafael? It’s nearly one in the afternoon.”
Jesus Christ, is there no peace in this house?“I’m okay. I didn’t sleep well. New place and all.”
Lies. I slept like the dead: no dreams or anything. I loved a Smirnoff snooze.
Hank ambled over to the bed and sat down. He patted my bare shoulder, utterly unaware of my naked state under the comforter.Gross.
“I know this is hard. It will be an adjustment for all of us, especially you.” He paused for way too long. Was I supposed to say something?It’s awkward because you stopped talking to me, dear Father.He sighed again, an annoying new habit apparently, and said, “I meant what I said in the car. I’m happy you’re here.”
I just nodded. It’s all I could do. I didn’t want to be in that house, and I didn’t like that man’s ass on my bed. More than anything, I really didn’t want to have another failed attempt at a heart-to-heart.
“I was thinking we could go to the rink today. They have open skating from three to five. You know, get the bones moving. It’s where Cody plays, too. I figured you might want to check it out.”
I did want to check it out. I needed to figure out how I would play in New Rochelle. It was definitely on my to-do list, but I needed not to feel like I’d stuck my head in a blender first. Plus, I had better plans. I wanted to fuck with Cody some more today.
“I’m kind of tired,” I said. “This is all really new, really fast. Maybe another time?”
Hank looked visibly disappointed, and damn my heart for wincing just a tad because of it.
“All right. Well, the invitation is there if you ever want to accept.” He sat there for another few moments. When he realized I wasn’t going to respond, he rubbed his neck and stuttered, “I-I’ll let you get some rest.” He rose from the bed and left, closing the door behind him.
Finally.I needed more sleep. Maybe I’d stay in bed for the rest of my life. I watched a documentary once describing how some Victorian women decided to take to their beds and die for thirty years. That sounded awesome.
I wrapped the pillow around my head, desperately trying to block the light. It was useless, and I started wondering what Cody was up to. He was probably running errands for his mommy like the good little boy he was. Mmm…Cody. How I loved fucking with him.
All right. Time to get up and shower.
As much as I wanted to stay in bed for the rest of the day, I had to get up. Cody was somewhere, and I had to let him know who the stronger brother was in this house.
I was still humiliated by how I reacted when I saw Mattie’s picture, and I hated that Cody was there to witness it. If he thought I was weak or some emotional basket case, he had another thing coming. I wouldn’t let him believe that. He’d feel my wrath soon enough. Who the fuck did he think he was coming over and putting his goddamned hands on me like that?
I hated that he thought I needed help. I hated that he crossed the distance between us and caressed me like I was some wimp.
But what I hated the most was how much I liked it.
Chapter 7
Cody
I was driving home after a long morning of running errands for Mom. She was planning a big dinner for Rafael, the one she hadn’t had time to prepare the day before. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t trying to avoid him. From the moment I woke up, his presence felt like a physical force snaking through the house. The spicy, woody scent of his stupid cologne had already seeped into the fibers of the furniture, and the memory of his hand around my neck made it hard to breathe. He was inescapable. I cursed myself for letting him get the best of me the night before. What the hell was wrong with me? Rafael was the kind of guy I could drop in a heartbeat on the ice, so why did I let him put his hands on me like that? I couldn’t wait to get back at him. Rafael Sinclair would rue the day he ever met me.
My phone was synced to the car speakers to talk to Aunt Sue.
“He did what?” I was stopped at a light, and her yelling was so loud that the people in the car to my left gave me a look. I waved an apology and rolled up the window.
“He just chugged it, Aunt Sue.” Sue wasn’t actually my aunt. Sue was Mom’s best friend, and I just called her Aunt Sue as a term of endearment. After Mom and I moved into Sue’s basement, she became my confidante. My Mom didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with everything on her plate, so I often talked to Aunt Sue when trivial things, like an asshole stepbrother, were bothering me. She was the brassiest woman I’d ever met. She had been married four times and owned a thriving hair salon; her client list was massive. Her voice was deep and raspy because she smoked two packs of Virginia Slims daily. Why she didn’t just smoke a normal-sized cigarette, I’ll never know. Nothing fazed her, and she treated my Mom like a sister. Needless to say, she was one of my favorite people on the planet.
She wheezed a deep cough before saying, “What a goddamn nightmare. Jill’s gonna flip.”
I shook my head, as if she could see me. “No, you can’t tell Mom. She can’t know any of this has happened.” I wasn’t about to tell Aunt Sue that Rafael attacked me. Forget telling my Mom, Sue would come to our house and cut off Rafael’s balls. Nobody could know we fought in the car.
“How in the hell could they not tell that he was smashed at the dinner table? Are they that oblivious?” she asked.
“It was so weird. He seemed totally fine at dinner. He held it together completely.”
