Aspen pouted at Noah, and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to resist kissing them. Thankfully, they turned back to Rachel before he could do something stupid and scare off their potential new friend.
“Why are you nervous, hon?” Aspen asked. “I promise we don’t bite.”
“Much,” Noah said, and Aspen elbowed him again, right below the first one.
“Oh, I, uh…” Rachel reached across her chest to fiddle with the sleeve of her sweater. “I was supposed to be meeting a friend, who’s trying to help me get out there and meet more bi people since breaking up with my ex. This is probably one of my first times being in a bi space. My ex was, uh, cis/het, and he was…well, biphobic to say the least, and it’s taken me a while to work up the courage to explore this side of me, but, yeah, so…here I am.”
She dropped her sleeve to make actual jazz hands in front of her chest.
Aspen snapped their fingers together like they were at one of the Rainbow Bean’s drag shows. “Yes, preach girl! We’ve all been there, in some way. You’ve got to get back up on that horse–or, I guess you have to trade in that boring horse for a fabulous unicorn!”
Noah tried to suppress a snort right as Diego called first his name, then Aspen’s, and finally Rachel’s. They accepted their drinks, and Aspen glanced up at him with big, questioning eyes, which Noah found a little ridiculous. Of course he was okay with this. He’d been the one to suggest it.
He inclined his head, and Aspen beamed at him before turning back to Rachel to ask if she wanted to grab a seat with them. She looked like she’d won the lottery as she eagerly followed after Aspen.
Noah considered walking away, either to talk to other folks or even to leave. He had wanted to make sure Aspen met at least one person tonight, and they had. Now he would just be getting in the way.
He slowed his steps in a way he thought was subtle, but apparently wasn’t, because suddenly, two sets of brown eyes turned to look at him. One was hazel and a little too knowing, and the other was a warm chocolate brown that held nothing but curiosity and warmth. Duly chastened, Noah hurried to follow after them.
Aspen plopped down in a chair at a three-seater table, and Noah sat down in the seat farthest away, leaving the seat closest to Aspen open. Rachel sat down tentatively and wrapped both hands around her coffee mug.
“What did you get?” Aspen asked, subtly scooting their chair closer to Noah.
“Uhm, just a latte, which was probably a mistake. I really don’t need caffeine right now.”
Aspen nodded sagely, as if they didn’t have enough caffeine in their drink to wake up a hibernating bear. “Noah’s the same way. He can’t have caffeine after two p.m., or he’s up until daybreak. Helpful in college, less so now.”
“Oh, that’s actually not really an issue for me,” Rachel said with a rueful smile. “With my ADHD, caffeine doesn’t affect me at all, but I try not to drink it when I’ve already taken my Adderall for the day–which I did, for work, but I sort of panicked at the register, so here we are,” she said, hunching her shoulders over her drink like she was ashamed of it.
Before Noah could think of a way to ease her evident anxiety, Aspen blurted out, “Wait, caffeine doesn’t affect you because of ADHD? I thought caffeine would just make a hyper person more hyper.”
Silence fell over the table, and Aspen’s mouth dropped open like even they were shocked they’d said that. The entire evening had been surprising. Aspen had many friends, so they clearly knew how to talk to people. It seemed like when they tried to flirt, they somehow lost the ability to socialize.
Thankfully, Rachel didn’t look phased at all. If anything, she seemed to relax a little more in her seat. “Oh, that’s a pretty common misconception, actually. People who have ADHD have low dopamine, so they seek out stimuli in ways that may appear hyper but are actually just them trying to regulate their brain chemistry. Caffeine gives you dopamine, but for some folks with ADHD, like me, that only really serves to level out the dopamine level to the point where my brain slows down, and I get sleepy.”
Huh. That was…interesting.
Aspen tapped their fingers three times on their glass. “Caffeine doesn’t affect me at all. Sometimes I feel like my brain is a little quieter, but I never get energy or have trouble sleeping.” They glanced at Noah. “I don’t think it makes me sleepy, either?”
Noah could think of over a dozen times Aspen had chugged a Red Bull and then passed out on his couch. “Maybe a little bit?” Noah offered, and he could feel Rachel’s eyes on him.
Aspen seemed to chew on that for a second before shaking their head and turning back to Rachel with a big grin on their face. “Well, now that we’ve all shared our caffeine habits, maybe we can share some actual fun facts about ourselves?”
Noah thought he’d learned several fun facts already, but he deferred to how Aspen wanted to lead the conversation. They went around the table, and Rachel shared that she was a long-time resident of the city, but on the upper side, a fair way away from the Rainbow Bean. She was currently on a month-to-month lease and thought this might be a nice area to move to. Noah offered some recommendations for other restaurants and bars in the area. When Aspen mentioned they worked as a hairdresser, Rachel immediately complimented their hair, and they launched into a rapid back-and-forth about hair color and the hairstyles Aspen would recommend for her.
As they talked, Aspen shed whatever awkwardness they’d been holding onto, and they scooted their chair closer to Rachel, reaching out to touch her arm when they laughed or finger a lock of her hair when she asked for advice on curly-hair products. Rachel also began opening up, her smile spreading and her hand gestures broadening.
Noah realized with an almost out-of-body experience that for some reason, he’d been picturing Aspen hitting it off with another guy. Whether that was his parents’ stupid influence or his own insecurities assuming Aspen would want to find someone to replace him, he couldn’t say. What he could say was that the tea was sitting like sludge in his stomach, and he once again wondered if it would be better if he left. That would be beyond rude, though, so instead he added this to the never-ending list of things he needed to talk about with his new therapist on Monday.
Rachel flipped her auburn hair over her shoulder and smiled sweetly at something Aspen said. As she placed her hand on Noah’s arm to share in the laugh with him, he realized something else. He had come into the evening also assuming he wouldn’t end up with a woman. Was that because he didn’t want to buy into his parents’ heteronormative bullshit? What if he ended up with a girlfriend, just like they wanted? They’d parade her around town, using her as proof that Noah was, in fact,not as “confused” and “misguided” as some of the country club members whispered behind their hands.
Somehow, this made Noah feel even worse than his assumption about Aspen. Rachel had specifically said she was bisexual and looking to break out of the heteronormative role she’d been placed in by her ex–and here Noah was putting his parents and his own messed-up expectations on her. There would be nothing straight about any sort of relationship he had with her, because he wasn’t straight, and neither was she.
What she was was gorgeous, with soft curves she’d dressed up in a pretty blouse, and kind eyes that made the tangle of bullshit in Noah’s head feel a little more manageable. The longer he looked at her, the more attractive she became.
He tuned back into the conversation and found they’d moved on from discussing hair to brainstorming on fundraising initiatives for the dog shelter. The threads of love he carried for Aspen and Charlie strummed, and he leaned across the table to rejoin the conversation. Slowly, as the minutes turned to hours and Aspen popped up to go buy them pastries, Noah noticed another thread forming in his chest for Rachel. She was insightful, but not pushy, and when her shoulders fully relaxed and she let herself slouch in her chair, she began joking and teasing, and it turned out she was quite funny. He could see her effortlessly fitting into his hangouts with Aspen or walking alongside him and Charlie at the dog shelter.
He hadn’t been actively picturing her in bed with them until Aspen said, “So, have you hooked up with anyone on this new bisexual exploration of yours?”
