Prologue
Aspen
Well, that could have gone worse.
It also could have gone a hell of a lot better.
Aspen blinked to try and clear their eyes, and the street sign they’d been staring at for god knows how long came into focus. They read the sign once, then again, before pulling out their phone. With shaking fingers, they found Noah’s contact in their favorites, pressed call, and brought the phone to their ear.
He answered on the second ring, like he always did.
“Aspen?” he said, as if it really could be that easy.
“He signed the papers,” Aspen said, running a trembling hand back through their shoulder-length hair. “It’s over, I…I just… Please, Noah?—”
“I’m coming. Are you at the house?”
“No, I started walking, and…I’m at an intersection. Corner of”—they glanced up because somehow, they’d already forgotten the name of the fucking road they were on—“Bellview and…” Of course it was an intersection, so they needed to give both roads. Why were they so stupid all the?—
“Bellview and Cornwall? You’re about fifteen minutes from the house, maybe twenty from me,” Noah said, the familiar sound of his front door closing coming through the line. Aspenchecked the crossroad just to make sure, but Noah had been right.
“Thank you, and I’m sorry you have to come all the way out?—”
“Nope, we’re not doing that. I’m on my way. Stay right there, okay?”
“Okay,” Aspen whispered, clutching the phone to their ear well past when Noah hung up. Finally, the feeling of the screen against their damp cheek became unbearable, and they lowered their hand to their side.
Today had been an all-around shittastic day, but at least the street was peaceably empty, only two pigeons keeping Aspen company as they waited. Aspen watched with only mild interest as the birds hopped over to an abandoned pizza crust. One of them was plump, with long tail feathers and a mullet going on up top. The other was quite a bit taller and almost spindly, with neat feathers that it began to groom while the short one went to town on the crust.
A breath that was closer to a sob escaped from Aspen’s lips, and the birds startled, flapping their mottled grey and white wings before settling back down. Aspen swallowed down whateverthathad been and instead snapped a photo so they could show Noah the rats with wings that sort of looked like the two of them.
They’d met at sorority rush sophomore year of college, standing outside the Beta Psi house in the dead of winter, wearing nothing but their formal dresses and high heels. Noah really hadn’t needed the added height. He’d towered over Aspen, all willowy and awkward, like a baby foal not quite sure what to do with his legs yet.
He’d grown into himself shortly after that. At rush the following year, he’d worn pants, flats, and a flattering button-down, and by the time their final rush rolled around, he’d left the sorority on good terms to pursue “other interests.”
Aspen, on the other hand, had waited another seven years to figure out that for them, the problem went well past dresses, heels, and Greek letters. They actually still liked heels when the outfit depended on them, and they still owned a few dresses.
No, the clothes were fine, as was the sorority. The problem was actuallythem.
At least, that’s what Ethan had said earlier that afternoon.
Aspen’s foot began to tap, their usual pattern of three taps with their toes followed by four taps with their heel. They had no idea when they’d started doing it. For most of their life, math and numbers had been the bane of their existence, but they liked the numbers three and four. They often had to break up larger numbers into three and four-counts, and over time, they’d begun to find comfort in them.
When they finished, they shifted their weight so they could do their other foot, but the nearly empty messenger bag they’d brought to hold all their paperwork slipped off their shoulder. Thank everything that was holy, they managed to catch it right before it fell into a dank-looking puddle. No longer trusting themself—wow,that was a statement they’d have to dig into later—they opted to clutch the bag desperately to their chest.
Because that wasexactlywhat they fucking needed, to ruin the documents before they were submitted and have to go back to get Ethan’s signature once again. They could just imagine having to ring the doorbell and anxiously wait for him to answer. He’d probably leave Aspen there for a while as payback for them no longer having a key. It wasn’t their fault, though, or at least not entirely. After Ethan had slammed down the stupidly fancy pen he’d been using to sign the documents, Aspen had slapped down their house key and stormed out of the house. It was a little like how they’d left their parents' house after deliveringthe news that their youngest child was, apparently, a massive disappointment for being–
The Bellview street sign began to blur, and Aspen forced themself to take a deep breath.
The chubby pigeon cooed softly, and Aspen wondered if maybe, now that they weren’t constrained by Ethan’s limited preferences, they could get a pet. Something weird and wonderful, like a komodo dragon or a parrot. Would their apartment allow that?
Their hands were a little steadier than before as they searched through their files until they found their lease. It took only a few moments of scrolling to find that fun pets were, unfortunately, not allowed.
Maybe Aspen should move. Not just to a new apartment, but maybe to a new town altogether. They’d originally come to the city to go to college, but then they’d met Ethan right after graduation, and never left. They hadn’t ever lived anywhere but here and in their small suburban home with their parents and three siblings, all of whom were now spread out across the country.
After coming out and all the fallout that ensued, their older sister, Dani, was the only one Aspen still talked to. She lived in the pacific northwest and seemed to love it. Aspen was sure she’d be thrilled to have Aspen move out there. She’d offered to host Aspen numerous times and had hinted that the salon she went to was always looking for talented young stylists.
Aspen had only been styling hair for a few years, but they loved it. Just like they loved their sister, and would probably love living so close to the beach, and maybe even owning a fun pet.
