Though all it did was make her feel strangely awkward.
And the awkwardness increased when she stared out at the scene in front of them, and realized what was going on a few inches from their faces. A bunch of fairies, romping away together in a big heap of tangled limbs. Everything all messy and sticky and greedy, in a way thatshouldhave been funny. Itshouldhave been ridiculous.
But instead, she found herself thinking of that time they had watchedDraculatogether.
Sometime after the thing at the quarry, she thought it must have been, because she remembered she hadn’t wanted to wear a big T-shirt and nothing else, like usual. She had gotten under the comforter in her closet with full pajamas on. And he hadn’t even taken off his jeans.
Though it hadn’t mattered.
Everything had still felt so incredibly naked. As if every accidental touch dissolved the clothes between them. His forearm brushed against hers under the comforter, and she had thought of the thick hair he had there now, the muscles burgeoning farther up. And when their thighs had accidentally kissed, he’d muttered a word under his breath.
Shush, she’d wanted to believe it was.So soft, she knew it had been.
Because it had made her blush. It had made her go over and over it in her head, wondering if he’d meant it in the good way. If he liked how plush she was, in a manner she had struggled to imagine anyone doing, at the time.
In fact, she still struggled now when it came to Seth. She looked back at that heated moment through a kind of fog. All of it blurred by memories, of him hanging out with those jackasses. Of things he said he hadn’t meant to say, but still had anyway.
And it made it hard to see. To understand what had happened, as that little closet grew hotter and hotter, and the film grew more and more seductive, until finally they sat side by side, their eyes locked to the screen, both of them breathing too quick and sweating too much.
Silent, she remembered.
Until finally he’d said, in a strangled whisper, “I don’t think we should watch anymore. It’s making me want to… you know.” And of course, she’d pretended she hadn’t known whatyou knowmeant. But she had, and she knew even harder here, now, looking back on it through adult eyes.
If I’d said go ahead, what would we have done, she found herself thinking. Then even more intensely:What would we do now, inthe same position?Because it felt like they were—she couldn’t deny it. They were trying not to watch something ridiculously steamy, while sitting far too close together.
Just like they had then.
In fact, this was worse, because they weren’t even sitting. They were lying down. And neither of them had thought a thing about where they’d put their limbs, after they’d messily crawled through the veil. Which meant their thighs weren’t just accidentally touching. They were practically tangled with each other. She could feel the heavy weight of one of his over hers. His hips against what felt like her waist.
And then lastly, oh lastly.
His hand was on her back.
She could feel it, as burning hot now as it had seemed cool and insignificant before. It was searing through her sweater. In a sec ond it was going to leave a brand, in the exact shape of his too firmly pressing palm.
Then that palm abruptly slid down, and god, god.
He wasn’t going to actually do that, was he? He wasn’t going to touch herthere?
He hates me there, she told herself. Only, telling herself that wasn’t working as well as it always had in the past. How could it, when he’d said what he’d said just before he’d carried her over the gorge?He told you he didn’t mean the insult, her brain rambled.He told you he was just repeating what Jason said.
And even though that likely meant nothing at all, even though it didn’t mean he found her butt suddenly sexy, she held her breath. As if she actually wanted him to. As if she liked the idea of him liking it. As if she had just been waiting around all this time, mooning over the idea of the Great Seth Brubaker being all gone over her ass.
Which was not the case, at all.
Yet somehow, it didn’t feel like terror or disgust over him doing it, either. It was some jumbled, messy thing in between. Thick with heat, but sharp with fear and confusion. And each of those feelings seemed to feed on the other, until she could hardly stand it anylonger. She thought she might go mad, she might do something completely terrible, if this lasted one second more.
So it was really a relief when reality brought her back to her senses.
Or notreality, exactly.
More like a screech, of a sort her human ears had never heard before—tiny and thin, yet somehow painfully shrill at the same time. And when it came, his hand snapped away from her lower back. Like it had never been there. Like she’d just imagined it all, the same way she’d probably imagined it all back then, too, while watchingDraculain her closet.
Things just aren’t like that between us, she told herself.
And that put her mind straight.
Which was good, because that shriek? It meant that they had been spotted. One of them had seen, and now it was shrieking its little lungs out. It was shouting so loud, in fact, she could actually make out the words after a second.Big ones, big ones are here, big ones have invaded, it cried in a weird language that she could somehow understand, anyway.
