And discovering the other appliance took until she got dressed, and made her way down his death-trap staircase, to the room that passed for a kitchen. Then there it was in the corner, actually hum ming away. She even found a block of cheese in there and a gallon of milk. A box of Cheerios, too, in one of his cupboards. And bowls, he had bowls, mismatched and one of them chipped, butusable. She got them out and set them on the counter, ready to pour them both some cereal.
And that was when it struck her.
It was kind of weird that Seth wasn’t around to eat that bowl.
As in,what if he went out to get breakfast and they’ve done something to him?weird.
And hoo boy, did that thought take her from fuck-drunk to scared in about five seconds flat. She jumped up from the table and went out onto the sagging front porch. Called his name into the early-morning light. But all that replied was birdsong, and the chill fall breeze, rustling the trees.
And it was followed by an even stronger sense that something had gone very wrong.They shouldn’t be able to even see him,she told herself. But she couldn’t help wondering if they’d gotten around her potion somehow. If there was a spell she didn’t know about or a trick her research hadn’t turned up.
Or if it was something Seth had done.
Because that was a possible thing, she knew. If someonechoseto be seen, they would be. Though she struggled to imagine why he would. She couldn’t think of a single reason he would want to let the Jerks take another shot at him. Why he might see them and think,sure, let’s just stroll up and say hi.
And she continued to think that, right up until she got back inside, and grabbed her phone from the place she had left it on the kitchen counter, and saw the message waiting for her. A selfie, it looked like, and when she opened it, sure enough. There he was, in 4K.
Only it wasn’t the Seth she’d come to know over the last few weeks.
Or the Seth she’d been friends with as a kid.
No, this was a different Seth. A smug-looking Seth, who leered out of the screen at her, fingers curled into an OK sign. None of which would have meant anything to her, if it had just been the photo. But it wasn’t. On either side of this brand-new Seth were three similarly amused, smug little faces, bold as brass, and all too familiar.
One of them belonged to Jay. The other to Tyler. And the third was clearly Jordan.
Then underneath, a caption:
Surprise, fatso.
You didn’t really think this was a thing, did you?
CHAPTER THIRTY
She tried not to let Pod know anything was wrong once she got back to her place. And with good reason, because the moment Pod managed to snatch her phone from her and figure out what had happened, things went pretty badly. He ran around the house yelling,murder beefhead, scooping up weapons as he went. She found herself having a standoff with a raccoon clutching a toilet brush, while the rest of the house seemed to go nuts. All the lights switched on and off repeatedly, as though she were in a very weird nightclub. And the now sentient TV didn’t help—it blared one chorus after another from songs that declared death to monstrous liars, cheaters, and thieves.
Most of which were, unfortunately, really catchy. She found herself singing along to Olivia Rodrigo at one point. Fake microphone in hand, dance moves on point, Pod jigging away behind her, as she made her way through the kitchen.
She only stopped when she saw what was on the magnetic notepad, attached to the fridge door. All in careful, slightly shaky handwriting:I’m so sorry, my darling.Like someone who wasn’t quite there had written it. And of course she knew who the someone was. Her grandmother. Her grandmother, who had seen that she was hurting, even as she danced.
Even though she didn’t want to be, anymore. She wanted to be like marble, the way she had been before. Impervious to him and any of his actions, uncaring of what he thought. But of course there was no chance of that now. He’d dissolved all her defenses.And he’d done it with such precision, such attention to detail, that it was kind of breathtaking, really.
He’d even made sure to go beyond the mating bond.
To say enough to persuade her into confessing her indisputably real desires.
And oh, that thought took the wind out of her. She sat down hard in one of the kitchen chairs, and couldn’t seem to get back up again for a long, long time. She just stared into space, until finally Pod dropped the toilet brush. He crept over to her, and put his little hand over hers.
Mom okay?he said.
She couldn’t answer, however. Her throat was too full of tears.
SHE DID HERbest not to think about it. But thinking about it was all her brain wanted to do. It went over and over everything he’d said and done, trying to piece together the plan he must have had all along. And every time she thought she had satisfied her mind with explanations—that was done to convince me of this, and this was the reason he tried that—her mind wanted more.
Worse, it wouldn’t let go of the version of him she had grown so close to.
A day later she answered the door to find what looked like a walking, talking coat, scarf, and hat, and her first thought wasn’twhat the fuck am I looking at?It wasGod, Seth would find this hysterical. He would say it’s exactly like that scene in a movie when the evil gremlins try to disguise themselves as a person.And he’d have been right.
Although maybe not about the evil gremlins part. Whatever was rustling around inside that human disguise definitely did not seem bad. It seemed soft-spoken and sort of apologetic. “Good day, madam witch,” it said. “So sorry to trouble you at this late hour.”
