Then just as she was thinking that he had done a pretty good job there, on thethis is fine for two friends to dofront, he added one last thing on the end. “Whatwouldstop me, however, is that you might not be really willing to do this.”
And nowshewas the one who had to step between the bombs. She had to walk theI am willing, even if I am pretty sure it’s not something I really want and/or feel romanticallytightrope. Even though she was barely sure where she stood on that tightrope herself.
Some of the hot fantasies she’d indulged in over the last few days had just been him, cradling her in his arms. And her, telling him how good that felt. And that didn’t seem normal for the aloof practical supernatural doctor she was trying to be. Or even for a person being slowly sex poisoned by magical werewolf nonsense.
But she had to believe it was. She had to push through.
On the other side was freedom. Freedom, from desperately wanting to fuck a friend she really shouldn’t want. “Of course I’m willing,” she said, and was really proud of how casual she sounded. Because she didn’tfeelcasual.
And Seth replying: “Yeah, but only because you think we have no choice” didnotmake things any easier. It just made her think of the day before, and the permission question. About how careful he was to only do what she was okay with. Howeasythat made it all.
And how much hotter, too.
So now she had to somehow agree to this next step in a calm,rational manner. While feeling so suddenly horny and irrational about it that she could’ve wept.It’s okay, it’s just werewolf sex nonsense. It’s not real, it’s just something you both need and are all right with giving to each other, she kept telling herself. And after a good long moment of panic, the pep talk did seem to sink in.
She felt that she knew how to navigate the situation without fucking anything up. “Wedohave no choice. However, I can still say I am totally okay with doing it anyway. That the idea is not repulsive or horrifying to me. I mean, it might be if it involved doing something gross or arduous with a horrible stranger I hate. But the thing is, none of that is the case. I enjoy doing the kind of things we have to do. And you are a good guy, and I like you. So maybe we should just think of this as you know… casual sex. Or scratching an itch. Or any other kind of fun activity we might do together. Like, say, really weird, intense tennis,” she tried.
And thank god, thank god, she could tell it had worked. He didn’t seem suspicious that she secretly loved the circumstances they were in. Or secretly loved him. Plus the whole problem did seem more normal when she put it like that.
In fact, shefeltmore normal, hearing it in those terms.
Doubly so, when he laughed.
“We have never played tennis in ourlives,” he said.
Then somehow, she found herself laughing too.
“Okay, then, how about calling it Mario Kart?” she suggested.
“So you’re going to start swearing and lobbing shells at my head.”
“Actually, I was thinking I would make fun of you when you accidentally get stuck in a corner and can’t get out,” she said, the memory so clear and so brightly ordinary in her head that she could feel herself relaxing.
Now she just had to make sure he was relaxed too.
Though she could see that she was already well on her way to achieving this.
Because he held up an angry finger. “That happened one time. One,” he said, so hilariously that they both broke all over again. He shook his head, half laughing. And she let out a giggle. At whichpoint, she knew they were going to do this. That theycoulddo it, no matter the potentially ruinous consequences.
All that was left was to figure out the terms and conditions.
The ones that made him stop looking at her, before he started laying them out. “Okay, so this is happening,” he said. Then after a second of slightly pained consideration, he went ahead. “But before it does, you should probably know some stuff. Stuff you might not like as much as hitting me with squid ink, so I end up driving my Kart into a pit of quicksand. In fact, it’s possible you might hate it.”
“Why would I hate something that means nothing? That’s just fun?”
“Because… I don’t know,” he said, clearly frustrated. “It’s not really like the sort of joyful tennis hookups you’re probably having with actual, normal, super-sexy, cool, ideal-man type human beings. It’s kind of a lot to deal with.”
“I get it, Seth. You have a big one.”
“Yeah. And it’s really not as fun as porn makes it out to be.”
“It’ll be fine. You’re not going to split me in two.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But even if I don’t, there are other things to contend with. Like the fact that I… well.” He paused. Swallowed, thickly. Before stumbling on. “I kind of… make a lot of mess. Like, way, way more than you’re probably used to. And it won’t just be—you know. Kind of getting a little bit on you. It’ll be goinginsideyou.”
“Yeah, and I’m sure we can find condoms made of concrete to cover that issue.”
“Cassie, I don’t think condoms are something we’re going to be able to use,” he said, slowly and patiently. And as soon as he did, she felt everything inside her sink to her socked feet.
