Because he was right. Of course he was right. There was no other way it could be—there had to be actual contact for this to work. There couldn’t be any barriers between her body and his body and his stuff and her stuff. Though she tried to stay calm about that, on the surface.
“Okay, but like. That’s only one small part of it,” she said.
“It doesn’t seem like a small part of it. It seems like it made your face drop three feet.”
“My face is fine. This is just how it looks when I’m trying to think.”
“And what exactly are you trying to think of?”
Whether I can do this without going too far or being weird, she thought. But went with something as businesslike as he thought she was.
“Mostly, how to do this without having your giant hairy babies. Or giving each other any sort of STI. Plus, you know. I’ve never had sex without using one before, with anyone. So it’s kind of something I need a second to process.”
“That just seems like a reason to not do it.”
“I think I can fix the first one with a potion, though. Probably even the second one, too.”
“Yeah, but neither of those are what I’m having an issue with. I know you’ll solve the first, and the second isn’t a thing. My werewolf body could kill the bubonic plague. I once got attacked by a rabid fox and biting me curedit,” he sighed. Then before she could widen her eyes over that revelation, he plunged on to the real issue. “No, it’s the third one that makes it worse. I don’t want to do something you’ve never even experienced with a person you actually want to experience it with.”
She didn’t know why that was his focus, however.
They’d already gone over that in great detail.
“Seth, you just told me virginity doesn’t matter.”
“That was different.”
“Oh, because I’m a woman.”
“No. God,no. Because of what you said,” he said, clearly stressed by the suggestion. He was pacing now. Agitated. He had to take a few breaths before he explained. “You just told me that you felt it was only okay with you to be someone’s first experience of something if they really lo—if they really liked you. And I know you like me more now, but you definitely do not like me that much.Notenjoying some new experiencemuch. Not even as much as I like you.”
“And how exactly do you figure that?”
“Because I hurt you. You didn’t hurt me.”
“I kind of think we might be past that now, bud. As inyou are my best friend againpast it. Unless you don’t think we are, of course. In which case, you know, just pretend I never said that.”
She flushed. Got flustered, waved her hands.
Wished she could take back that one word: “best.”
Because the thing was, when you claimed that someone was your friend, there were escape clauses in it. You could laugh and say you only meant in a casual way. Asort ofway. A way that could apply to a million people. But when you said “best,” you meant something more. You meant they were your number one. And that you hoped you were theirs.
And that was a lot.
It was so much that she almost took it back. The take-back was on the tip of her tongue, just ready to go. Then somehow he slipped in, before she could. “To be honest, I was thinking of having it tattooed over my heart,” he said, voice all threaded through with laughter.
Like it was nothing at all.
When actually, it was almost too much for her to take.
She looked up and saw him still shaking his head, bemused. And she simply couldn’t stop herself. She just shoved a hug right into him, without thinking. Face pressed to his chest, body glued to his, hands all over his back. Every part of her solely focused on showing him what those words had meant to her.
Instead of thinking for a second what this much contact would do. Because a minute ago, she had barely been able to tolerate his arm draped over her shoulder. She was still buzzing from things he had done yesterday, for god’s sake.
It was obviously going to be way too much.
But even she wasn’t prepared for justhowmuch.
