God, it was just way, way too late.
She threw her arms around him without even thinking about what it would mean to someone like him. How it would feel, to have someone embrace him like that. And by the time she pulled back, the damage was already done.
All the lights in his face were out.
He went to speak, but no sound came.
And when she got to the door of her building and turned back, he was still there. Sat frozen, in the shock of the thing she should never have done.
Chapter Seven
She fully expected him to not turn up. At the very least, she imagined the hug and the romance novel stuff would have had some kind of effect. After all, it had an effect on her. She blushed every time she thought about it—and not just for normal reasons like embarrassment. There were other things in there, too.Things she didn’t really want to think about, like the wordflirtingin green neon and the side of his face in the moonlight, and oh fuck, this was just theworst. It was the worst.
Until he turned up, looking just the same as always.
He didn’t seem bothered at all.His hands were not back in his pockets; his face wasn’t a tight mask.And he launched straight the self-defense class without a single qualm. In fact, he did it so seamlessly she could have almost believed nothing had happened between them. She hadn’t intruded on his privacy with all her romance novel talk. He hadn’t frozen in her arms like a deer in hug headlights. There was no cliff drop into clumsy flirting or inappropriate feelings she couldn’t figure out.
The whole thing was nothing.Awkward, but nothing.
And then it got to the part of the class where he had to touch her.
It came about midway through the demonstration of her punching speed. She had hit the air around his face about two dozen times—all while he urged her on.Come on, faster, he said.Harder. But still she didn’t feel she was getting any closer. In fact, sometimes it seemed like she was getting further away.She had to grit her teeth against the frustration; sweat was starting to soak through her shirt.
And then he went to help and it just happened.
One hand went to her waist, and the other went to her arm, and instead of freezing up automatically a great flood of warmth went through her. Her cheeks heated, as if he’d tried to lead her into a dance or even draw her body close to his. And even after it was utterly clear that he hadn’t or wasn’t, things still took an insanely weird turn. He leaned in just a little, but the little somehow seemed like a huge amount.
For a second, she was actually certain that his cheek was going to brush hers.
Hell, itfeltlike it was brushing hers, despite the obvious space between them.
She could see the firm line of his jaw, out of the corner of her eye. That was the sound of his breathing, so slow and steady it almost seemed like he was forcing it to be that way.Like someone trying to pretend a set of stairs hadn’t winded them, she thought.
Then didn’t want to think about that at all.
In fact, it seemed better to just let her mind go blank.To shut off the sense of that large hand on her waist and the heat that appeared to be pouring off him and oh no the smell of him. The smell of him wasincredible. It was that leatherand cinnamon thing again, only with an undercurrent of him.Of man, she thought, and knew she should have wanted to run.
But instead, found herselfleaning in. She found herself turning towards him.
In the end, it was him who had to pull back, and as soon as he did, she knew she’d fucked up. He looked almost dazed—as if she had cracked him around the head with a two by four she didn’t have. And even after he’d gathered himself enough to ask her what she wanted to know next, she could see a lingering discomfort.
More than that, really.
He looked like he was in pain.
She was hurting him, with her random bouts of ridiculous affection.
And really there was only one way to deal with that:
Ask for something that could never encourage it.
“How about if you teach me how to escape being grabbed?” she asked, even though it kind of turned her stomach to do it. In fact, when he said:
“Pretty sure we already covered that.”
She almost agreed and just forgot the whole thing.
Then she remembered his pained face, and ploughed on.
