Liam met me as I was exiting the closet. “You sure you don’t want someone to come with you?”
“I just need some space to think,” I said.
“Are you feeling up to skating?” Gray asked, joining Liam. “What if you fall?”
“Then I’ll have some scrapes,” I said tersely. “Pretty sure it won’t kill me.”
“We could come with you and keep a distance,” Bear said from the same spot on the bed. “That way, we’ll be there if anything happens.”
“Not you, too,” I snarled. “I need a fucking minute to myself, okay? I didn’t realize I was under house arrest.”
“You aren’t, but—” Gray started before I cut him off.
“No buts,” I said fiercely. “I’ve been managing on my own for years now, and I’ve done a pretty fucking decent job of it, all things considered. I think I can handle being alone for an hour.”
I stormed out of the room and through the front door. I sat down on the edge of the porch to get my skates on. The door opened behind me, and footsteps sounded on the wooden slats. I ignored them.
I finished lacing up my skates and pushed myself to a standing position. A helmet dangled in front of my face, and I looked behind me to see Henry. He raised an eyebrow and I begrudgingly took the helmet and strapped it on.
“The neighborhood is a loop. Just stay to the right and you’ll make your way back here.”
I nodded, my throat tight. “Thanks.”
“Take the time you need, darling. I’ll keep those three in line.” He winked, and my chest eased to know that at least one of my guys wasn’t upset with me right now.
I took off down the driveway, picking up speed as I took the first turn. Trees lined the street, and all the homes were just as gorgeous as Henry’s parents’. The steady thrum of my skates against the smooth pavement helped empty my mind. I pushed everything aside, focusing instead on taking in my surroundings—the chirping birds, the rustle of wind through the leaves, the smell of fresh-cut grass.
This would be a beautiful place to grow up.
I wasn’t sure how far I’d gone, but eventually my legs started shaking and the shooting pain in my neck intensified. I came to a graceless stop and sank down on the curb, breathing heavily.
I lowered my forehead to my knees, trying to hold myself tightly enough to keep from falling apart. For the first time in my life, I wished all the other doctors had been right and that this was all in my head.
I’d been so convinced my mysterious symptoms would kill me it was hard to wrap my head around the fact that I wasn’t going to die. I waited for a feeling of relief to hit me, but it never came. Somehow, the reality of having an incurable tumor was worse than the vague possibility of death.
Well,possiblyincurable. I could choose the aggressive treatment and have a chance at a cure. Four weeks of misery seemed a small price to pay to be tumor-free. But then, what happened if that treatment didn’t work? I would have to switch to another chemo and accept being sick forever. I didn’t want to live like that, and I certainly didn’t want my guys stuck with a sick omega for the rest of their lives. They deserved so much better.
Dr. Ash said I had a choice, but committing to a lifetime of treatment wasn’t a real choice. I had to do the aggressive treatment and hope I was part of the forty percent who was cured.
The wind caught my hair, and I noticed a butterfly with vibrant orange wings flying through the air. It danced in front of me, coming to rest on the blue and white clouds on my skates. A tear rolled down my cheek as I watched it. Life could be so beautifully painful.
My mind returned to my tarot reading, and the smallest tendril of hopefulness bloomed within me. Maybe those cards had been the universe telling me that the treatment would cure me. I had to go through the Death to get to the Lovers and the Star. The Star had been one of my mom’s favorite cards. It embodied hopefulness, courage, and the universe’s blessings.
The butterfly fluttered away, and I watched it go. It was time to return to my guys and tell them what I’d decided.
84
WESTIN
Isat on the couch, trying to look casual. Henry and Bear left a few minutes ago after we reviewed the game plan again. I was starting intensive chemo treatment tomorrow, and this was the perfect distraction… as long as it worked out how we’d planned.
A book lay open on my lap, but my eyes ran over the same sentence over and over without taking in the words. Gray and Liam should be here any minute, and my heart was pounding. I needed to pull myself together or they would suspect something.
It was time for my two alphas to get over their shit.
The door opened and I picked the book up, holding it in front of my face. Was I holding it normally? Did I look weird? Fuck, I definitely didn’t have a future as a spy.
“We’re back,” Liam called out.
