Nothing happened. Did she already give up on me?
The door slowly creaked open.
“Did you say come in?” Josie asked, peeking into my office nervously, biting her lip. “I couldn’t hear.”
Fuck, she was gorgeous. Her tousled hair framed her face and her green eyes practically glowed. Her sweet scent found its way to me and I breathed it in. It felt like the first real breath I’d taken all day.
“Yeah, of course. You don’t have to ask, love,” I said, my voice hoarse.
I hated how hesitant Josie looked as she shut the door behind her and leaned back against it. It felt like a chasm was separating us instead of ten feet. I should get up, go to her, sweep her into my arms like some scene in a romance book. But I sat frozen.
“What are you doing in here?” Her voice was even, but her scent was stressed.
“I had some Alliance things to check on,” I responded. My excuse felt hollow the moment I spoke it, especially as I stared down at the blank document open on my laptop in front of me. I couldn’t make myself look at her. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from falling to my knees and asking her forgiveness.
“Oh,” she said, biting her lip. “Have there been any breakthroughs with finding the omegas?”
“No, not yet.” I cringed, fighting the urge to bang my head against my desk.
“Oh,” she repeated.
I stole a glance, unable to keep my eyes from her for long. She looked around the room with a bit of a lost expression. Then she took a deep breath, fisted her hands, and looked right at me.
“I know you’re disappointed by how things went this morning. If you want me to go to the gun range again, I will.” Then her voice softened, and she bit her lip. “I just want to please you.”
I inhaled sharply. “Angel, you please me all the time.”
“Clearly not,” she said. “You’re hiding away here. Did you think that wouldn’t upset me?”
My chest was so tight I thought it would explode. I picked up the pen on my desk, clicking it furiously without realizing it.
“I...” Bloody hell. I couldn’t even form a complete sentence. The click of the pen echoed my too-fast heartbeats, every click chantingfix this fix this.
“You’ve been so distant ever since the DC. Which makes me think you no longer want me after what happened.”
I met Josie’s blazing gaze, my mouth open. “What?” I gasped. “You think I don’t want you anymore?”
“You’re not acting like you do,” she said. Her voice was still fierce, but I could see the vulnerability behind her eyes.
“I think you’d be happier if I wasn’t around,” I blurted out.
“Why would you think that?” she asked, bewildered.
“I thought it was obvious,” I bit out, all the anger I felt towards myself seeping into my tone. “I didn’t protect you. I thought studying the omega manual would be enough to keep you safe and keep our pack together. I was the idiot who thought they would follow their own fucking procedure. I should have listened more to your concerns. I should have stopped it from happening.” My voice grew louder, but when I finally looked at Josie, her expression was calm.
“How would you have stopped it?” she asked, tilting her head.
Frustration welled up inside me. How did she not see this was all my fault?
“I don’t know, but I should have done more.”
“How? What would you have done?”
“I don’t know!”
She flinched at my raised voice and that fucking broke my heart. I didn’t deserve her. I wrapped my fingers in my hair, pulling at the messy strands.
“If I can’t protect you, can’t protect this pack, what’s the use of me being here?” I said, forcing myself to continue, to get it all out. “Cam can protect you physically. Ben is the fun one and can make you laugh. I’m the one who’s not necessary.”
