“I appreciate everything you’ve done, but right now, it’s better for me to keep my distance from everyone. It’s not safe to be around me. Glen isn’t going to let go of this fixation he has on me.”
“So we should all just leave you to him, is that it?” Sam snapped.
I bit my lip as an awkward silence fell between us.
Sam sighed. “Do you remember the day you revealed as an omega?”
His tone was pointed, and my cheeks burned with embarrassment. Sam and I had been sixteen, and our families forced us to attend a party at Glen’s home. We’d slipped away after dinner, escaping out a secret exit we’d discovered with a bottle of champagne and a plate of desserts. We’d lain on Sam’s jacket on the forest floor behind the mansion, watching the stars peeking through the trees as we passed the champagne back and forth. It was a chilly night, but my skin felt hot and prickly. I hadn’t realized what was happening. All I knew was that Sam’s scent was stronger than ever before, and my body craved being closer to him. I needed his scent on me, so I rolled on top of him and licked his throat.
Sam had quickly realized what was happening since he’d revealed as an alpha just the week before. He’d clutched me to his chest, covered me with his jacket, and ran around the house to get us into a car and drive me home.
I groaned. “We swore to never speak of it again.”
“I wasn’t talking about the throat licking,” Sam said, amusement in his voice.
There had never been anything sexual between us, but in that moment, my omega had been overwhelmed. All she knew was that there was a good-smelling alpha near us, and she wanted to taste him.
“Do you remember how Glen reacted when he caught us in the driveway?” Sam’s voice turned serious.
I struggled to piece together the memory. Most of what I remembered that night was my emotions and hormones going haywire, reacting to all the scents around me. Faintly, I remembered Sam’s desperate hands on me, grasping my shoulders in a way that made me moan before he pushed me into the house.
“The gross fuck scented you were an omega, and I thought he was going to try to take you away from me right then and there,” Sam said. “You were so out of it at that point. We hid in the library. I watched through the crack in the door as your parents argued with Glen about something, and it almost looked like they came to some sort of agreement. Then you whined, and your parents found us and took you home.”
Sam’s words stirred memories I’d repressed, and I burrowed deeper into the pillows.
“I don’t know why he’s always been so fixated on me. That’s why everyone would be better off if I went away,” I said.
“Fuck that. Don’t pretend you’re doing this for them, or me, or any of your friends. You’re martyring yourself and saying it’s for all our sake, but in reality, you’re just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again.”
“So what if I am?” I shouted, sitting up, my face flushing red. “Why does it matter why I’m doing what I’m doing? The outcome is the same. I have to protect everyone else.”
“It matters because your life is worth more than that,” Sam growled, his tone vicious. “You have people who love you and need you. Those alphas of yours are losing their absolute shit right now. You think I’ve been here relaxing and enjoying my life after you messaged me saying you had to go to the DC, and then I didn’t hear from you forsix fucking days?”
My lip trembled and I pressed my face into the palms of my hands. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “So sorry.”
“No, Josie, fuck. Don’t apologize,” Sam said. “I’m not angry at you. I’m fucking furious at what they did to you and pissed that I can’t be there.”
“I don’t think I can survive this again,” I confessed.
“You can and you will. You survived last time in much harder circumstances.”
“This device is different. Any alpha can make me do what they want, and I can’t fight it. What if I leave the house and an alpha barks at me? I can’t do this.” My voice was high-pitched, and I was close to hyperventilating.
“You’re forgetting that the Alliance is working to neutralize the effects of the device through a serum injection. They’re getting close, too. You won’t have to deal with this for long.”
It was the same thing my alphas had been repeating over and over, but I couldn’t let myself believe it. I’d been let down too many times before.
As if sensing my skepticism, Sam continued.
“I’ve spoken to one of the scientists working on it. You’re not going to fucking believe this—she’s an omega. So she knows what’s at stake.”
That got my attention. A tendril of warmth curled in my chest that omegas in other provinces cared about what was happening to us here. I would never meet them, but we were connected by our designation, by this inherent understanding of what it felt like to be an omega. The realization cracked my protective numbness as I started tofeel. I lay back down under the blanket, needing its protection.
“It doesn’t change the fact that I’m damaged,” I whispered.
“How are you damaged?” Sam asked.
Tears dripped down my face onto my pillow below. I quickly wiped them, not wanting to mess up the perfect blend of scents on the pillowcase.
