Josie
“Josie?”
Theo’s muffled voice floated through my blanket cave in my nest. Ben had left me to go shower. It was good that he’d left me alone, or at least that was what I told myself. I couldn’t stand to see his disappointment when I didn’t eat. How could I eat when I didn’t want to have a body anymore?
It was safer to be here. Alone.
“You in there, angel?”
My fingers itched to reach out and grab Theo and drag him under the blankets with me. I wanted my skin pressed up against his, wanted to purr until all traces of his stressed scent vanished and all that was left was happiness. And arousal.
I slammed down a steel barrier against that train of thought. I couldn’t do any of that. Couldn’t give in to my omega’s desires.
I slowly poked my head out from my hiding spot. Theo was perched on the edge of the bed, his phone in his hand.
“Sam’s on the line,” he said, holding his phone out to me.
He didn’t touch my face or lean down and kiss my cheek. He just sat there, phone outstretched. I didn’t move to take it. I didn’t want to talk to Sam or anyone else. Because then I’d have to tell them what happened, and if other people knew, it would make it real.
I met Theo’s gaze with wide eyes and shook my head, trying to tug the blanket back over me. His hand stopped me and for the briefest moment, his touch lingered, his thumb running down my cheek in a gentle caress before he pulled away again. I held back a whine that would demand he put his hand back.
“I know you’re there,” Sam said through the speaker.
I scowled at Theo as I begrudgingly took the phone.Traitor. This time, when I threw the blanket back over my head, he didn’t stop me.
“Let me know if you need anything, my love,” he murmured. The bed shifted as he got up. I curled up into a tight ball, succumbing to the darkness of my cave once more.
The bright phone screen lit the darkness, and I sighed.
“Hi,” I croaked, my voice scratchy from disuse.
“Josie.” Sam’s voice was filled with agony.
My throat tightened. Just hearing that one word made me want to burst into tears.
“They told you?”
Sam’s breath hitched, and then there was a long silence.
“Yeah, they told me,” he responded, his voice thick with emotion. He paused, likely trying to gauge my reaction. But I had nothing to say. I was empty.
“They also said you haven’t been eating or sleeping or even speaking since it happened.”
I shrugged, even though Sam couldn’t see me.
“Josie.” This time he said my name with reproach. “They’re your alphas. They want you to lean on them. No, theyneedyou to lean on them. Why are you pulling away?”
I was going to deflect, change the subject, tell him it was none of his business. But when I opened my mouth, I blurted out, “All I do is ruin people’s lives.”
Sam made a noise that was halfway between a grunt and a scoff. “How do you figure that?”
“I ruined yours. You had to pay my rent. You risked getting arrested every time you got me suppressants. You’ve spent the past year worrying about me when you should have been enjoying your new life with Gerald.”
There. I’d finally done it—spoken the truth. Now Sam would realize he was better off without me, too.
“I didn’thaveto do any of that shit,” he snapped. He breathed heavily, and I could imagine him pacing. “I did it out of love.”
I covered my mouth tightly to hold back a sob as the emotions I’d locked away in the tiny box tried to escape. I breathed through my nose, forcing my body to calm down and my heart rate to settle. Once I had all my feelings stuffed back where they belonged, I responded in what I hoped was a convincingly calm and logical tone.
